I shake my head and stroke a hand down Mercy’s muzzle. “No. It’s mine.” I explain about Nakiis and the tourney—and then, when his expression doesn’t change, I tell him about Jax and Lord Alek and what happened in Briarlock.
“I don’t really know what draws me there,” I say, and my voice is quiet. I’m not sure why I’d admit this tohim, of all people, but perhaps admitting our fears to each other has opened a door I never realized was closed. “Maybe it’s the reminder of what my life used to be like—butthat’s hardly a comfort. I don’t know. But I shouldn’t have lingered when I was due to return. Too much is at risk.”
Rhen listens attentively and feeds my horse another candy. He makes for a good audience, and he waits, saying nothing until I’m done.
“So you see,” I say. “The fault is mine.”
“I disagree.” He turns from the horse, heading toward the opposite end of the barn, which leads to another path that eventually meanders through the woods.
Intrigued, I follow.
“You’ve mentioned this blacksmith before,” Rhen says. “If this Jax is as innocent as you hope, then Alek will consider his messenger to be too risky, and he’ll move on to someone else, likely somewhereelse. If these people are no threat to the Crown, then I see no harm in chasing whatever you seek, whether it’s friendship or romance or even just a few hours of simplicity.” He pauses. “Grey himself made many missteps along the way, and he should not be too critical of moments of levity and amusement. Maybe you should remind him that instead of claiming his throne, he spent months hiding at some tourney in Rillisk.”
I laugh. “You will forgive me if I am not the one delivering that reminder to theking.”
“Fine,” he says without laughing. “Then I will.”
He’s so serious that it chases the amusement off my face. “Yes, Your Highness.”
“I mentioned before that Grey does not yield,” he says. “That sounds like a strength, and in many ways, it is. He stayed by my side through the eternity of that curse.” Rhen glances over. “But when I needed answers from him, he refused to give them. Even when you ended up chained on the wall beside him. Even when the guards uncoiled their whips.”
He’s never spoken about this so directly, and I feel as though Rhen has driven a sword right into my side. My steps almost falter.
“Again,” Rhen continues, “in a way that is a strength. He held a secret so dearly that nothing could force the words from his lips. I know my role in that moment, and how much harm I caused. You would be right to hate me for what I did, Tycho. ButIwas trying to protect my people. You were trying to protecthim.” He pauses. “Grey was trying to protecthimself. So when I hear that you and my brother are in a moment of discord, I wonder if he is once again unwilling to yield in a moment when he very well should.”
No one has ever said anything like this to me. I don’t know if I can speak. I don’t know if I canbreathe.
“On the day that Grey returned to Ironrose,” Rhen says, “I asked him what I had done to lose his trust. And Tycho, I had done nothing. The fear was inside his head—and we all paid the price. So if our king has made you feel as though you are not worthy of his trust, then he has made a grave misstep indeed. True loyalty is a gift.”
We’re approaching the woods, and I’m glad for the shadows, for the cool air, for the fact that we’re alone, because I think I’m about to choke on my breath.
“Pull yourself together,” he says pragmatically, “for it’s one thing formeto know this, and entirely another for Grey to be aware of it.”
“I’m together.” But I’m not. Not yet.
“I didn’t realize that would shock you.”
“No one ever speaks of him that way.” I give him a rueful look. “This entire conversation feels treasonous.”
He stares at me in surprise. “Treason! He shouldhopeany treason comes from the likes of someone like you. He has held on to his throne for years, when there was a time I worried it would only be a matter of months.” He glances over at me. “But there have been attacks on thepalace, and now these letters are changing hands. The insurrection has crossed the border. I’m worried his first true test as a ruler has come.”
“Me too,” I admit.
“Don’t doubt yourself, Tycho,” he says. “Grey is lucky to have you.”
I wish it were that easy. But I nod. “Thank you.”
We walk in silence for a while, until we take the loop that leads back to the castle.
“I do miss it,” Rhen admits, and my eyebrows go up. “Swordplay,” he adds.
“The guards have followed,” I say. “Borrow a blade. We could spar right now.”
He hesitates. “Not yet.”
“As you say.”
He’s quiet again, and I think that’s it. But then he says, “Next time, perhaps.”
