I’m such a fool. If I could reverse time, I’d go back to the moment Lady Karyl first appeared in the workshop.
I’m doubly a fool. If I could reverse time, I should go all the way back to the moment that wagon crushed my foot.
Or possibly the moment the very action of my birth killed my mother.
“Jax,” says Tycho quietly. “You know my secrets.”
Not all of them. I think of the scars on his back. “You should know …” My voice catches. “You should know that I wanted to tell you on that first day. The day you came to Callyn’s bakery. You—you were so kind. And clearly someone of importance.” I hesitate. “My father had been spending our tax money on ale, but I never knew until the tax collector showed up. Suddenly … the forge was at risk. Callyn was in the same situation. Her father had given all their money to theTruthbringers, but she didn’t know it until later, after the Uprising. So when a woman named Lady Karyl offered me good silver to hold a message …” I glance at him to see if the name sparks recognition, but it doesn’t. I run a hand over the back of my neck, which is suddenly damp. “I suspected it was for the Truthbringers, too. But … you must understand. It was so much silver. I’m not—well, I’m not suited for any other work.” My voice shakes, and I have to clear my throat again. “Lord Alek was—he was terrible. But he said he was loyal to the queen. You know what the rumors about magic are like, the stories we hear of the king. I didn’t have any reason to not believe him. He paid what I asked for, so I held his messages. We were able to make our first tax payment. It was easy, and we’re a long way from the Crystal City, and Cal and I figured there was little harm.
“But then … then you healed my hand. It scared Cal—and it scared me too. But even after I yelled at you, you still came back. The day you taught me how to shoot.” I draw a breath. “The way you spoke of the king … I’ve never met anyone close to him. And you were so loyal, and so kind, and I began to think that for someone likeyouto call him a friend … well, the rumors might be wrong.”
Lord Tycho is quiet, listening, his expression unchanged. My eyes meet his briefly, and I have to look away.
“When Alek showed up that night, I thought he was going to kill you. I realized then that I was on the wrong side of this. But he took his message and left.” I pause. “I haven’t seen him since. I thought maybe he’d found someone else, because it’s beenmonths. I spoke true about that. But this morning …” I hesitate. This part isn’t my secret.
“Tell me.”
His voice is even, and not cold, but tonight is the first time that I’ve seen the trueforcebehind all the weapons and armor. It’s like seeing a friendly dog snap at a threat and learning that the fangs aren’t just for show. I have to take another breath before I can speak again. “Thismorning, I discovered he’s been sending his messages through Cal. He’s been sending business her way, buying her attention with his favor, and I had no idea. But she thinks I’m the fool, because I was trying to trick him out of extra silver.” I have to look away when I say this. “But it wasn’t for me. I’m just trying to save the forge. I was trying to help her save the bakery. The lords seem to have endless silver, and we scrape for every coin.” I swallow hard, remembering how generous he was. “It wasn’t greed or trickery. I swear—”
My eyes fall on his fingers and I break off.
His rings are gone. All of them.
My eyes flash to his. “What happened to your rings?”
“I had to return them to the king.” Before I can reason that out, he says, “This doesn’t explain the seals, Jax.”
I glance at his hand again. “When I shot at you, I could have killed you.”
“I deserve alittlemore credit than that.”
I reach for his wrist, and there’s a tiny slice along his bracer, where he deflected the arrow. A tiny stripe of blood clings to his arm, where the arrow must have skidded off.
“No rings,” I say. “No healing.”
“No healing,” he agrees.
I trace a finger over the injury, but the kettle whistles, and I jump. I grab hold of the counter to pull myself out of the chair, then pour water into the cups, followed by a scoop of tea leaves into each.
“I don’t have honey,” I say.
“I prefer it without.”
He speaks from right behind me, and I turn in surprise.
He takes the cups from my hands and sets them on the table, but now he’s blocking my path.
“Thetruth,” he says evenly.
“I made the seals,” I say. “I made the sketches.”
His eyes go a bit steely, so I rush on. “Alek was very forceful. I thought he’d kill me if I read one of his letters. But it was so much money, and such a risk. I wanted to know what he was saying. So Callyn and I devised a plan to open the letters and reseal them in exactly the same way.”
“And what did you discover?”
“Nothing,” I admit. “Alek fought with you before I was able to re-create the right stamp. We were never able to open them.” I pause. “I spoke the truth when you asked me before. And I’m speaking it now. If I could go back to that first night and tell you right then, I would. I’ve wanted to tell you a thousand times since.”
He frowns. I can’t decide if he’s disappointed there’s not more information to be had—or if he’s relieved.
