As soon as she says the words, she stops short, and her breath catches. It takes me a moment to understand why, and it’s a moment too long. Sudden emotion slams into the room, washing over all of us. The queen obviously didn’t mean to consider the baby she lost, but once the words are out of her mouth, they have an impact.
Nora looks up and offers her a smile—but it looks a little watery. Without warning, she rises up on her knees and all but throws herself at the queen to give her a hug.
“Nora!” I cry.
“Oh, Callyn, it’s all right,” says the queen, as if I’m the one being ridiculous, and it’s completely appropriate for my sister to fling herself at royalty. She holds Nora tightly for a moment, and another pulse of emotion flickers through the room, so powerful that it almost takes my breath away. It’s not just my sister’s acknowledgment of her pain. It’s Queen Lia Mara’s grief over what she’s lost, and relief over what she’s found.
Then it’s gone, and Nora swipes at her eyes and goes back to the tiles like nothing happened.
The queen swipes at her eyes, too, and I look away so it’s not obvious.
She says, “I’ll call for some tea. Callyn, would you like some? You were in the training arena late. Did you even have dinner?”
“Oh, no, I’m—”
She waves a hand. “Come sit with me while they play. I’ll send for food instead. I haven’t eaten yet either.”
I open my mouth to decline, because her eyes are a little red-rimmed, and I almost feel like I’m intruding. But I consider that the queen was sitting down to play a children’s game. I consider that she just let my sister clutch at her, how the feeling of anguish was so potent in the room.
I consider that she should be dining with the king. But she’s not.
I wanted to talk to her about Alek, about his potential threats, but just now, that moment in the arena feels so far away.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I know she doesn’t want to be alone.
I look into her tired eyes and nod. “Thank you, Your Majesty. Dinner would be lovely.”
The food in the palace is always quite decadent, everything brushed with butter or laced with honey, the pastries flaking so perfectly that I sometimes long to linger in the kitchen to learn how they do it—though I have no idea if I’ll ever return to my little bakery in Briarlock.
Tonight we’re served tiny glistening onion tarts alongside roasted chicken that’s been drizzled with an orange syrup, a combination that I never would’ve considered, but smells so good I can’t believe I almost declined dinner. Servants offered to stay, but the queen waved them off, so we’re alone again with the younger girls. Sinna has moved on to practicing braiding her doll’s hair while Nora plaits hers, and they’re sitting in the window of the next room, chattering like they’ve known each other for years.
The queen slices through a piece of chicken. “Nora is very patient with her.”
“I think she’s just happy to find someone who talks as much as she does.” I realize how that sounds, and I quickly add, “I mean—”
“Callyn. Youmuststop worrying so much.”
“Big sisters always worry.”
A smile breaks through the tension in her expression, followed by a light laugh. “True enough.” She picks up a bottle of wine and begins to pour.
The red liquid swirls to fillbothglasses, and my eyes widen.
She meets my gaze across the table and stops before she sets the bottle down. “More?”
I have to shake myself. “Ah—no. No, Your Majesty.”
She picks up her glass, then gestures for me to do the same. When I do, she taps hers against mine, and theclinkof the crystal sings through the room. “To big sisters,” she says, followed by a hearty sip.
So I guess we’re drinking. I’m drinking with the queen. I echo her words and take a sip.
But then she takes another, longer swallow, and for a moment, I think she’s going to drain the glass.
But she doesn’t.
“Forgive me,” I venture quietly, with a glance toward the girls, who are luckily oblivious. “Are you . . . ?all right?”
The queen meets my eyes, then nods, then sighs. “It’s a fair question.” She doesn’t say anything more than that, which feels very deliberate. “You looked a bit harried when you arrived after your lesson with Nolla Verin. Areyouall right?”
