I put out a hand. “Give me the crossbow.”
Saeth jerks his head around in surprise, but he obeys. The wood and steel of the weapon slip into my hand.
“Go,” I say. “Stand with your wife.”
I don’t wait to see if he moves. If I wait, I won’t be able to do this at all.
“I didn’t leave you,” I say to Lennard. “I was coming to get you. I’m sorry I wasn’t sooner.”
He spits at my boots and swears at me. “I hope they hang you.”
I pull the trigger. The snap is loud and seems to echo. The bolt goes right through his chest, and his body jerks.
It seems like he glares at me forever before the life burns out of his eyes.
I don’t realize I’m on my knees beside him until the cold mud is soaking through my trousers. He didn’t deserve this. None of them did.
“Forgive me,” I say, and the words are thin and barely audible. My voice breaks, and I realize I’m crying. Not just for my guards, but for Bert, for Reed, for all of them. Everyone I’ve failed. My muddy fingers press into my eyes. “Please. Forgive me.”
The rain strikes my hands like icy needles, shrouding me in silence.
“Your Majesty.” Saeth’s voice, just behind me. “Thorin is back. I’ve sent Nook to assess the wagon.”
I have no idea how long I knelt there, but I jerk my hands down, grateful for the rain for the first time. Lennard’s body is sprawled on the ground in front of me, his eyes wide and dead. I’ve seen every horrific thing Corrick has ordered, but this is the first time I’ve done somethingmyself. My stomach rolls again, and I catch myself before I can gag too badly, then force my legs to stand.
Francis is on his feet, too, staring at me. He’s got a hand clutching his side. I can’t read his expression, and I don’t want to. I can’t decide which is the most humiliating: knowing he watched me kill someone, watched me cry over it, or watched me nearly vomit on the body.
I want to ask if he still feels like his people are ready for action.This was only a handful of guards, and he wanted to take on the entire Royal Sector.
Between last night’s coughing fit and tonight’s failed mission, I rather doubt any of them will follow me anywhere at all.
A flicker of motion to my left makes me look over, and I realize Thorin hasn’t just returned, he’s also forcing a bound Sommer to walk in front of him. My heart nearly stops.
I’ll bring him down.
I didn’t expect him to bring the guard back alive.
But of course he did. I didn’t give an order to kill him yet.
I take a breath and see stars. I can’t do this twice. I can’t.
As soon as I have the thought, I realize that my brother did it more than twice. He did it over and over again, foryears.
I remember Tessa’s rage on the night I found them both in the Wilds, when I had no idea what my brother had been doing as Weston Lark.
He’s trying so hard to protect you, but you have to know it’s destroying him.
I didn’t know it was like this. I watched it time and time again, but I didn’t know.
I should have known.
When they draw close, Sommer takes one look at Lennard, then at me, and his face goes white. His feet stop so suddenly that he almost skids, and he drops to his knees. “Please,” he begs. “Please.” His voice breaks. “Your Majesty. Please.”
Corrick must have listened to pleas like this for years.
I stoop and pick up the crossbow from the mud, then snap another bolt into place. The click of wood against steel is loud in the rain.
Sommer chokes on a sob. “Please. I didn’t want to. I just neededthe silver. I was out of food, and no one—no one—” His voice breaks again.
