Rian looks at me steadily. “And how will you get there? Swim?”
I inhale a breath of fire and move like I’m going to launch myself at him.
Chairs scrape against the floor, and the two guards who followed us step away from the wall, but Rian puts up a hand, and they all stop. I’m aware of Rocco right against my side.
“I can’t,” Rian says to me. “Not even if I wanted to. You saw the condition of theDawn Chaser. The ship is going to take weeks to repair, if not a month—”
“I know you have other ships,” I snap.
“I do. But youalsoknow we were just engaged in a war, Miss Cade. A lot of the bridges have been destroyed, so any steamships I have are running cargo to rebuild. If I claim failure on this mission and then take a ship away from rebuilding, it’s going to be a tough sell to my people. If I do that and leave now, Oren Crane willabsolutelytake over.”
My fists are clenched at my sides.
People are dying, I want to scream.
But he knows that—and as much as I hate to admit it, people are at riskhere, too. I saw the citadel.
I hate this. It’s no better than it was in Kandala.
I wish we’d never come.
But if we’d never come, I never would have known about the poison. We would’ve kept trying to figure out a way to make better medicine, fighting our own war endlessly.
I unclench my fists and sigh.
“Fine,” I say. “Then I’m going back to the house. I’ll take the horses and cart you promised.” I remember what Rocco said about our little boats and add, “Some sailcloth, too. And some maps, if we’re to navigate Fairde on our own.”
He could easily make a dig about how we wouldn’t have to navigate anything alone if I weren’t choosing to leave, but he doesn’t. “I’ll give you anything you need to make yourself comfortable, Miss Cade.”
I somehow refrain from giving him a rude gesture, and instead, I turn for the door. “Goodbye, Gwyn,” I say. “Goodbye, Sablo.”
As I listen to their farewells behind me, I stomp down the stairs, feeling Rocco’s presence at my back. Rian’s footsteps are lighter behind him, and I’m sure there are guards following him, too. This all feels like such a failure. He hasn’t promised to bring me back. I have no way to tell Harristan what happened to Corrick—or about what’s truly happening in Kandala. I don’t know how much time will need to pass before he’ll launch a rescue mission, if he can even accomplish one.
Rocco and I could be stuck here . . . ?forever.
My chest tightens, and my breathing hitches for a moment. That’s almost too overwhelming to comprehend.
There is more than one way to fight.
Well, I told Rocco I couldn’t lie. I’m not an emissary, and Rian saw right through me immediately. I probably ruined any hope wehad the very instant I drew that dagger and vomited on his toes. The only thing I know how to do is take care of people.
Is that something? I don’t know. It never seems to make a difference.
I think of those people we passed when we rode through town. The ones who looked at Rocco’s livery and wondered if I was someone important. I’m not. Even in Kandala, the only time I felt like I was making a difference was when I was working in the Wilds as an outlaw, with Weston Lark at my side.
When we get to the bottom of the stairs, I turn and look at Rian. “In addition to the horses and the cart and everything else, I’m going to need extra silver.”
His eyebrows go up. “Oh, you are?”
“Yes. I worked as an apothecary in Kandala. I’d like to do the same here. If your people are rebuilding, they surely get sick and injured from time to time. I have my books and a few things I brought on the ship, but I’ll need to buy supplies so I can be prepared. Once we have the wagon, Rocco and I will ride through your towns to determine what’s needed.”
Rian stares at me. His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but he’s not sure what. I think I’ve truly surprised him.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I say. “I’m certainly not going to sit in that house waiting around for some man to decide my fate. If I’m stuck here, I’m going to make myself useful.”
He clamps his mouth shut. “Fine. I’ll grant you whatever you need.” He pauses, and his eyes narrow. “But if I hear that you’re causing trouble among my people—”
“I’m not causing trouble.” I take a step closer, looking him dead in the eye. “I’ve never caused trouble. You criticized Prince Corrick for manipulation and scheming at every turn, when youdid exactly the same thing. And you know what the problem with that is? You think you’re doing the right thing, but all you’re really doing is turning everyone into yourenemy. If you knew Moon-flower was a poison, you had a chance to tell King Harristan when you were there. You could have saved livesright then. But you knew it was a way to lure Corrick onto that ship, so you didn’t.”
