I don’t smile back. “Maybe you should’ve picked a fight days ago.”
“Welcome back, Your Highness.”
CHAPTER TWO
Tessa
In any other situation, an isolated house on the beach might be paradise.
As it is, I can’t wait to leave. Unfortunately, I have nowhere to go.
Worse, I have nowayto go.
At first, Rian tried to convince me to stay in his palace. He made a lot of promises about how it would be safer, how he could ensure my comfort, how I would be given space to grieve my losses.
I told him I would find a way to slit his throat in his sleep if he didn’t find us somewhere else. I’ve heard enough empty promises, and I’ve been betrayed by too many men. I’ve seen enough death and destruction to last a dozen lifetimes.
So now Rocco and I share a large house on the east side of the island. No,Erikand I. I still haven’t gotten used to calling him by his first name—though he hasn’t really stopped calling meMiss Tessaeither. We’re both a little raw, a little empty. Every time I lookat him, I think of Corrick being blown off the deck of the ship, and my throat swells. I think of Kilbourne being killed in the hallway, or Lochlan being lost at sea.
Honestly, once theDawn Chaserdocked, Rian could have spared himself the trouble. I didn’t need a house at all. There was a part of me that wanted to walk straight into the ocean and never look back.
But I can’t. I need to figure out a way to return to Kandala.
I need to tell the king what happened to his brother.
I need to tell Karri what happened to Lochlan.
And I can’t leave Erik either. He still has a healing knife wound in his side. I’ve been treating it every day with turmeric and tallow root, but it still looks a bit infected.
So I wake every morning, and I force myself out of bed, even though every fiber of my being wants me to hide in the darkness forever.
But at least Rian leaves us alone.
The house is far larger than we need, with four wide bedrooms, a sprawling sitting room, and even a well-outfitted kitchen with two ovens. A house built for a big family, clearly. One of the bedrooms even has two sets of bunkbeds, with whimsical creatures painted on the walls, and a few forgotten toys left under a bed. A children’s room. It makes me wonder what happened to them, because the house was dusty and locked up when Rian first showed us to the door. I’ve heard there’s electricity on some of the islands, but not in this part of Fairde. I don’t mind, though. Electricity is a luxury I never grew accustomed to, even when I was living in the palace in Kandala’s Royal Sector.
The house has a small stable, a paddock, a chicken coop, and a rabbit hutch—though they’re all empty. No livestock. Rian offeredto have horses and chickens brought, which I declined—though Erik later told me I should have accepted, because we don’t know how large the island is, and we don’t know when we might have a need or opportunity to travel. We don’t know how easy food will be to come by.
I scowled at that, because it’s smart. I can’t let my grief-stricken anger make me stupid.
We’re near the water, too, with a long stretch of beach behind the house, and a small dock that has two aged rowboats tied up. On the second day, Rian arrived with men to outfit the house with furniture and clothes and as much food as they could carry, and this time I held my tongue. He also brought any of our trunks from theDawn Chaserthat survived the journey. I sat outside in the sand and watched the waves roll up the beach while they unloaded the goods. The whole time, I imagined holding Rian under the water until he drowned.
I sat, tense, waiting for him to come find me anyway, but he didn’t. Later, Erik told me that Rian said he would give me space until I was ready to talk about whatever else I might need.
He can’t give me what I need.
Ineedto reverse time. IneedCorrick back. Sometimes I remember his voice so clearly it’s like he’s beside me, and the memory is so painful that I think my chest is caving in.
Please, my love.
In the cavernous house, I don’t sleep well. Every time I close my eyes, I’m haunted by dreams of Corrick being blown off the ship, his body torn apart by a cannonball. Worse are the dreams where I see him treading water in the dark, waiting for the ship to turn back—but of course we don’t. In those dreams he screams my name until he slips under the water and drowns.
In the mornings, I sit on the beach. Fog usually hovers over the water at dawn, but once it clears, two other islands of Ostriary appear in the distance, along with the faint outlines of the bridges that Rian needs Kandala’s steel to rebuild.
I spend a lot of time staring at the water, waiting.
I’m not sure what I’m waiting for. It’s not like Corrick is coming back from the dead.
I can’t help staring out at the waves, though, as if he’ll do exactly that. Like I could sit here long enough and he’ll come strolling up the sand one day, an apparition appearing out of the fog.Lord, Tessa. Mind your mettle.
