She jerks like I’ve hit her. “No! That’s not what I was doing. Iwasgenuinely interested in your medicine.” She swallows. “And I really did want to go to Ostriary.”
“To make sure we didn’t learn the truth?”
“No. To find more Moonflower.”
I study her. “I find it hard to believe that your father was working in league with Allisander Sallister and you were attempting to work against him.”
“My father is in the Hold. But I didn’t know what they were doing. My family has been friends with the Sallisters for generations. My grandfather was a consul! Until the truth was revealed about Ostriary, I never had any idea they were a part of . . . ?all this.”
I study her, remembering the maps in Rian’s palace, the way one of the sectors was marked withPepperleafinstead ofSallister.
In my silence, she takes a step closer to me. “I reallydidwant to know about your medicine.” Her voice almost cracks. “I begged him to come to court that night because I wanted to meet you.”
Olive and Karri exchange a glance across the table, then look at me.
“I don’t believe you,” I say. “And I don’t know what you could possibly want from me now. I can’t pardon your father. I wouldn’t even if I could.”
Her face crumples, and she presses her hands to her eyes—and that tells me all I need to know. She came to beg for a pardon. There’s a part of me that’s disappointed, that it’s something so simple, so easily rejected—and so inappropriate. She had to know Iwould refuse. What did she think, that I would let her father out of prison because she’s pretty and begged?
But I haven’t grown cynical enough to say something like that, and I can feel the true pain behind her tears.
“I’m sorry,” I say to her more quietly. “I know he’s your father. But you must be aware that deceiving the entire population of Kandala is not something worthy of a pardon.”
“I know.” She wipes at her face. “I don’t want a pardon. You’re right—he doesn’t deserve a pardon.” She stares at me, her eyes still glistening. “Haven’t you ever trusted someone, only to find out everything you thought you knew was a lie?”
My breath almost catches. Luckily, I’ve been getting a lot of practice in the last few weeks at being less reactive. “More than once,” I say. “If you don’t want a pardon, then why are you here?”
“When my father was committed to the Hold, his fortunes reverted to me,” she says. She shudders. “It feels like blood money.”
“It is,” I say.
“That’s why I don’t want it. I want you to take it, and I want you to put it to use wherever it will have the greatest effect. All of it.”
I go completely still. It’s Karri who gasps.
“Perhaps you could start rebuilding homes in the Wilds,” Olive says. “I’ve seen some of the destruction.”
“Or building schools!” says Karri. “Now that no one is sick, the people could learn—”
I lift a hand. “Thisstillwon’t grant your father a pardon,” I say to Laurel.
“He doesn’t deserve a pardon,” she says, and even though her eyes are still red, her voice is tight and firm.
We stare at each other, and I remember something Quint said to me, the night I met Laurel.
Don’t let them makeyoucynical, my dear.
I press a hand to my chest, feeling a pulse of loss. It’s a good reminder. A needed reminder. Because Laurel didn’thaveto do this. She could have given the money to her friends. She could have spread it among her own sector. She could have thrown it into the sea.
And I realize that I’m as guilty of judging her as other people were ofme, when I first came to the palace. Maybe with cause, but she doesn’t deserve it.
My voice gentles. “I’ll discuss your offer with Corrick,” I say. I hesitate, wondering if I should apologize for misjudging her, but maybe that should wait until after this is settled, and she’s proven to be trustworthy.
Maybe alittleskepticism is good.
She offers me another curtsy. “Thank you, Miss Cade.”
Once she’s gone, I pick up my tea to take a sip, and I realize Karri and Olive are both staring at me. Now it’s Karri who has tears in her eyes.
