“I tried to get back as quickly as I could.”
“And you did.”
My breathing shudders again, but he doesn’t let go. I don’t know how long we stand there like that, but when I finally straighten and scrape the tears off my face, I take what feels like my first deep breath in hours. I’m wrung out and exhausted, but somehow the knots of tension and pain around my heart have loosened.
I drop into the chair in front of the hearth. It’s barely more than embers now, and I shiver. I didn’t even cry like that on Tessa, anddespite everything we’ve been through, I can’t quite believe I did it to Lochlan.
A hand appears in front of me, holding a glass of the liquor he poured earlier. “Drink.”
I don’t take it. “It’s not appropriate. Harristan never would have—”
“You’re not Harristan. Drink.”
“I’m the king now, Lochlan.” I say this flatly, without any emotion. “You can’t order me to—”
“I can hold you down and force you, and we both know it. I just don’t want to tangle with the man out there. Nowtake it.”
I take it. I meant what I said, though. Harristan was never one for drinking much at all. He never wanted to be seen as out of control, as under the influence, as someone who could be swayed by something as simple as a splash of liquor.
You’re not Harristan.
I drain the entire glass. Lochlan does the same.
He fetches the bottle and pours more immediately. Then he lifts his glass. “To brothers.”
I lift mine and tap it against his, and the ring of the crystal is like a bell in the quiet of the room. “To brothers.”
When he drains this one, I don’t.
It’s tempting. I already feel the burn from the first, and I’m longing for any kind of release from the ache in my soul. A part of me wants to tip back the whole bottle, to find oblivion at the bottom.
But I’m remembering the countless times I tried to pour more for my brother, and the equal number of times he left his glass sitting practically full.
I never wholly understood why, but now I do. I always felt theweight of responsibility as King’s Justice, but this . . . ?this is suddenly altogether different.
I take a sip to complete Lochlan’s toast, but then I set the glass down and look into the glowing hearth.
Lochlan watches this, then sets down his empty glass. He’s quiet for quite some time.
“Who’s on your side here?” he eventually says.
I turn my head and look at him. “What?”
He lifts a hand and gestures around the room, indicating the manor. “Everyone has been all over you all day. Who’s on your side?” He pauses, and when I don’t say anything, he adds, “Is there anyone?”
“Tessa, obviously.” I lift a shoulder in half a shrug. “I trust Rocco, but I know he’s distracted by Olive—and it’s likely she’ll want to return to Ostriary to report on what’s happened. He might want to go with her. Harristan put his faith in Thorin and Saeth, so I’ll do the same—but that doesn’t mean I have that same loyalty.”
He’s looking at me as if he’s waiting for more.
But there isn’t.
“That’s it?” he says.
I nod. “Consul Beeching seems earnest, but we’ll see if his promises to support my reign pan out. Roydan Pelham is older, so I have his support, but his sector is smaller and he doesn’t have a lot of political sway. Arella Cherry and I would often argue over my methods as King’s Justice. She’s already begun to make demands and may not completely support me as king. But the consuls might not even matter at this point. There’s been too much corruption. Thepeoplemay not support me as king.”
He frowns. “I heard them cheering.”
“You heard them cheering because I wasalive. The laws ofsuccession were not at risk. There would be no war while consuls fought over the throne. Wait until it sinks in that Cruel Corrick is now King Corrick. It likely already has.”
