I miss him so much that my heart aches. I can hear his voice, smell his scent, feel his touch. I’d give anything for him to be here now.
But I stop the sob before it can form. He’s not here. I am. And maybe Rian has made mistakes, but so did Harristan. So did Corrick. So have I. We’re all just doing our best with the information we have.
So I shift my weight against that dagger, and I tug my wrists to see how loose the rope is.
When Oren Crane comes, I’m ready.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Corrick
Fairde isn’t far.
Or maybe it’s that the journey doesn’t seem to take too long because my heart won’t stop pounding in my chest, and I just want to go back and regroup.
“She won’t trust me,” I’ve tried protesting. “What makes you think your daughter is going to come withme? She knows I was on the ship with Rian.”
Oren shrugged. “Then you’re going to have to do your best, aren’t you?”
“What if we refuse?” Lochlan asked.
“If you’re not going to do your part, I’ll drop you both in the ocean right now.”
That made us both shut up.
We’re sitting against the main mast when lights from the island become visible in the distance. Ford Cheeke is sitting a short distance away, leaning against the ship’s railing. He’s been glaring atme for the duration of the journey, and we’ve hardly exchanged words, because Oren has been on the main deck. But now Oren is at the bow, talking to one of his officers, and we’re alone with Cheeke.
I still can’t quite figure out if he’s an ally or an enemy.
He clearly doesn’t have the best opinion of Kandala.
“What did you mean that I shouldn’t have been born?” I say to him.
He snorts. “Don’t play stupid with me. I knew you were just as corrupt as your father when you wrote that note to our king.”
I stare at him. “I truly am puzzled.”
“Our countries have been at each other’s throats for generations. I warned Rian that he wouldn’t be able to effect a trade agreement for steel. Just look at what’s transpired.” His voice wavers. “And now Penny is at risk again, with Edward no better . . .”
“What did they do to Penny?” says Lochlan.
“As if you care,” he seethes.
“I care,” I say. “I didn’t do this to you. And I genuinely do not know my father’s history with Ostriary.”
“You wrote that vicious note to our king—”
“Because heisan arrogant prick!” I hiss. “He came tousin poor faith. He lied about his identity and hid a prisoner on board his ship. He chastised me for the way my brother ruled Kandala, when he himself could barely hold a kingdom together. We exchanged words at least a dozen times that were easily twice as vicious. On his side as well as mine. I wrote that because I knew he’dbelieveit. Fawning platitudes would have been the lie.”
Ford blanches. “Oh.” He pauses. “Well, you certainly could’ve said so.”
I scowl. “I’m having a hard time believing that our countrieshave been at each other’s throats, as you say, when I don’t know anything about it. Neither does my brother.”
“That’s because we didn’t realize you survived the assassination attempts.”
I freeze when he says this, because I’m remembering a very different conversation with Rian, while sitting on a ship in the darkness, just like this. I remember being pummeled with new information that I couldn’t process then, because there was all too much.
Honestly, I can barely process itnow.
