“Of course he doesn’t. He’s the king. He holds all the power. Themagic.” Adrian raised a brow at me, and it felt like he was challenging me.“Right?”Right. Seb was the king, although when we were together, he just felt like a man. We felt… almost equal.
“Although…” Adrian smiled knowingly.
“What?” I leaned in closer, hanging on his every word.
“There’s a secret…community, if you like.” Adrian smiled wistfully. “Alpha and omega couples who meet in secret, in the shadows, when no one notices. Omega fathers who allow their alpha mates to be a part of their children’s lives.”
Mates.Secrets.The words flowed through me, and I didn’t believe my own ears. How did Adrian know this? Did Seb know that this went on in his kingdom?
“Here? At the Palace?” I looked around.
“Here, yes, but not just here. Everywhere in the kingdom. Omegas who have been bred and fallen in love with their alphas. Families torn apart by tradition and prejudice. Families who refuse to be kept apart. Couples who wait.”
“Wait?” My head was starting to hurt, and I missed Seb more and more the longer we were separated. My body ached for him, for his touch. “What do they wait for?”
A spark appeared in Adrian’s eyes. Defiance and passion. “They wait for the day when they can live and love openly and freely. They wait for that day—and it will come. Gus, itwillcome. If not in our lifetime, then in the next. It can’t be stopped.”
I swallowed. “What can’t?” But I thought I already knew the answer, because I felt it when I was with Seb. I felt it so strongly with every fiber of my being.
“Instinct. Nature. The balance of nature overrules any manmade law. You can’t have an alpha without an omega. Or vice versa. You can’t have life without love. It’s not possible.” I knew he was right, and still I didn’t dare hope. A life with Seb. With our child. Children, perhaps. A life where we were free to live together and love each other without fear.
I squeezed my eyes tight and inhaled deeply. With my eyes still closed, I asked, “Do you know anyone? Anyone in this secret community?”
“Yes.”
“Who?” I needed to know.Everything.
And then he told me, and the more he spoke, the more the longing grew inside me. I wanted that day to come. I wanted it in my lifetime and not in the next. I wanted it so badly I could taste it.
After hours spent in the stables with Adrian, I knew what I had to do. I had to show Seb that I could be there for him and our baby. That I could have a place in his life, in his heart.
Hal used to laugh at me because no matter what the occasion, I’d carve something, which was what I was doing right now. At first, I thought about carving a heart for Seb to show him he owned mine, but that seemed a little silly. It was hard to think of something when he was the king, and he had everything he needed. But then it occurred to me. What if I could gift Seb something to remind him of me when I was gone? Something that would remind him daily that I loved him?
So, I decided to make a crib for the baby. I’d never made such a large thing out of wood before, mostly sticking to carving figurines, but once I got going, my fingers started working on their own accord. I’d chosen a light sort of wood because I thought that would be beautiful for a children’s room. The wood would glow when the sun shone through the curtains on a spring day. I made bars on one side, which the baby could look through, but tall enough that he wouldn’t be able to fall out or pull himself over the side. On the headboard, I engraved flowers, butterflies, and bees into the wood. Perhaps I could ask Adrian if there was paint somewhere so I could add bright and happy colors to the patterns.
When it got dark outside, and my stomach rumbled, I was still working on the crib. It was like an inner urge, almost like a bird preparing a nest for its young. I needed to finish it. I needed to show Seb what our baby meant to me. What Seb meant to me.
Once I was happy with the result, I placed it in the corner of the woodshed, and found an old linen cloth, which I then covered the crib with. Hopefully, the crib would be safe here. Perhaps I could ask Adrian to keep an eye on it for me.
My stomach growled at me again after having been deprived of food for so long. Stretching my aching body, I closed the door to the shed behind me and started walking in the direction of the palace. I wondered if Seb had eaten yet, or if he was still working. Parts of me wanted to have dinner with him and tell him about my day. Listen to him telling me about his day, too. Another part of me found it unbearable to be close to him without being able to touch him and hold him. My chest squeezed, and I felt more lonely than I ever had before.
Then Adrian’s words echoed through me, and newfound hope sparked in me.‘Then he’ll want you again. It’s inevitable.’The idea of Seb wanting me again, seeking out my touch, lifted my spirits, and I increased my pace. It would just be a matter of days, surely. Then, Seb and I could be together again.
Chapter 15
Sebastian
The sweet scent of vanilla and orange blossom filled my bathroom, erasing the scent of Elias’ birth from my mind as I relaxed into the warm water. I still couldn’t believe Elias was now a father. We’d grown up together, me two years older, but still. He’d always just been there, been the one I could tell everything to and know with certainty that my words would remain locked between us. But things had changed lately.Ihad changed. I knew my feelings for Gus were forbidden and unrealistic, and still I longed to tell Elias. I’d hoped I could’ve done so today, but then he’d gone into labor. I knew he wouldn’t blame me for them or judge me, yet I still felt anxious. Was it because speaking it out loud would make it real and not just a fantasy in my mind, a silly dream?
Sighing, I closed my eyes, ignoring my aching heart. As soon as Elias recovered from the birth of his son, I’d tell him. I’d seen the way his alpha—because I might as well refer to him as that—had been handed the newborn and cuddled him against his chestwith clear love and adoration in his eyes. The doctor and nurse hadn’t even batted an eye at the display. The way the huge alpha had cradled the fragile newborn in his arms only confirmed what I was already suspecting after having spent time with Gus: there was no reason an alpha would hurt his own baby or any child, for that matter. I saw it written all over the alpha guard’s face. No, but hewouldhurt anyone who ever dared to lay a finger on his son.
I wished Gus were with me. Somehow, my bathtub felt too big without my alpha. Too empty.Ifelt empty. When I’d left Elias’ room, it was with a feeling of jealousy and heartbreak. What I wouldn’t give to have Gus with me when I gave birth. And not just then. I wanted him with me always.
Standing from the tub, water dripped down my body as I made my way over to my towel and robe. I was determined to keep Gus close by for as long as I could. I doubted he could sleep in my room, not with my advisors already breathing down my neck, but he could eat with me. Maybe not all three meals, but breakfast and dinner would certainly do. I often ate my lunch with my advisors or while working in my study. Hopefully, Gus would find someone to keep him company then.
With my mind made up and only thirty minutes until dinner was served, I quickly dressed in some casual clothes, or casual for me, since I still couldn’t bear the feel of anything against my body. But I was the king, and I couldn’t exactly walk around naked. I then made my way down the hallway to Gus’ room, begging the universe that he was inside so I wouldn’t use energy I didn’t have to track my alpha down.
Gus stumbled out of his room as I approached, his eyes wide as he seemed to search for something. His gaze found mine almost immediately, and I thought I saw relief in them, when he spotted me.
