I scrub at the dried blood in the truck like maybe, just maybe, I can scrape away the part of me that failed her.
But it doesn’t work.
It won’t wash away the sins of my failure, but that doesn’t stop me from trying.
I should stay away from her.Iamstaying away from her.
I’m so goddamn weak.I want her,need her, so much.
But she doesn’t need you, Ego.You could’ve gotten her killed.
“FUCK!”I roar and slam the truck door shut, hitting it with my fists and making a dent.
I don’t even feel the blood dripping down on my knuckles, but I watch it fall to the broken concrete and somehow, it makes me feel worse.
Drip drip drip.
I’m standing there like a frozen fucking moron, wallowing in my own well-deserved misery, so no, I don’t hear anyone coming until they’re already there.
Figures.
“What the fuck are you doing?”Kai’s voice cuts through the cold like a blade, sharp and pissed off from where he’s standing outside the truck.
I don’t look up.
Just keep staring at my fists.The blood is drying now.Just like the drops on the floor mat I tried to scrub off.
Cause maybe if I scrubbed hard enough, maybe I could erase the way her body went limp in my arms.Maybe it was just from sheer exhaustion after her ordeal.The concussion or just plain fear.
Either way it’s unacceptable.She should never have gone through any of that.
Your fault, Ego.All your fucking fault.
Worthless.
Reckless.
I close my eyes and see her there.In that fucking warehouse.Tied up and hurt.
Now I want to howl like an animal.
I press my hands to my sockets, maybe if I do that hard enough, maybe I can unsee the bruises on her face or the way her voice broke when she whispered my name.
“The fuck does it look like I’m doing?”I snarl, teeth clenched so tight my jaw aches.
“Well,” he says, stepping closer, “it looks like you’re playing Mr.Fucking Clean while your girl is holed up in a damn clinic with a concussion, man.What is wrong with you?”
“Fuck you.”
My voice cracks on the edge.
Rage and something uglier boiling under my skin.My fists clench.
“No, seriously.”He doesn’t back off.“What’s the matter with you?You love her.We all know it.So what the hell are you doing here?”
I snap.
Just like that.
