He shook his head instantly, frustration flashing in his eyes. “Why do you keep saying that? Why doeseveryonesay that? I’m notthatgood, Hillary.”
She blinked, startled by the sharp edge in his voice. He wasn’t angry exactly, more like desperate to make her hear him.
“I mess up,” he went on, leaning closer. “I get jealous. I get mad. I push myself too hard. And sometimes I don’t know how to stop. I’m not this perfect golden retriever everyone online wants me to be. I’m just a guy who plays hockey and tries his best, same as anybody else. And when you act like I’m some angel, it makes it feel like you don’t actually see me. But I know you do.”
The words hit her like a punch to the chest. Because he was right, she did see him. The doubts, the shadows, the moments he thought no one noticed.
“I’ve done bad stuff before.”
She scoffed, one eyebrow arching. “Oh, like what?”
His lips pressed together before he muttered, almost sheepish, “I’ve cheated before.”
Her head snapped toward him, eyes wide. “You cheated on someone?” she asked, genuinely shocked.
“Oh, God, no.” His hands flew up, panicked. “Never. I cheated on, like, a test.”
She stared at him for a second, then slumped back into the couch, groaning. “See? You’retoo goodfor me if that’s all you’ve got.”
Murphy huffed a laugh, reaching for her hand. “Hillary, that’s not being good. I would have loved to have been one of those athletes who was good at sports and at school, but I just wasn't. I struggled. And sometimes I did what I had to do to remain eligible. It’s not something I’m proud of, but there you go. See? Not perfect.”
Her lips twitched despite herself.
“And you know what?” he added softly. “I still think you’re the one too good for me.”
She leveled him with a stare, her pulse skittering.
“Is that why you tried to set me up with Natalie?” he asked, his voice low, pointed.
Okay. So they weredoing this.
She straightened, forcing her shoulders back even though her insides were unraveling. “I thought you two would be a good match,” she said carefully. “You’re at the same stage of life, you’d understand each other?—”
Murphy’s laugh cut her off, sharp and humorless. “Don’t do that. Don’t make it sound logical. You wanted me taken so I wouldn’t be a problem for you anymore. Admit it.”
Her throat tightened. He wasn’t wrong. But the way his eyes burned into hers made the excuse she’d been clinging to feel paper-thin.
“I was trying to protect you,” she said finally, the words raw in her chest.
“From what?” he shot back. “Fromyou?”
She flinched.
Murphy leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, his gaze searching hers. “You don’t get it, do you? Natalie’s great, but she’s not you. She’ll never be you. And I don’t want her. I wantyou.I wantthis.”
Her breath caught, becausethiswas exactly what terrified her.
“Why?” she demanded, her voice cracking under the weight of it. “How could you want this?”
Her hands were trembling now, pressed tight against her thighs. “I’m not very nice. I work too much. I don’t want kids. I hate going out. That’s not what you want. You don’t want me.”
Murphy didn’t flinch. He didn’t even raise his voice. He just looked at her like she was missing the most obvious truth in the world.
“How do you know what I want?” he asked softly. “You never asked me.”
Her lips parted—ready to argue, to push back like she always did—but the words lodged in her throat.
Because he was right. Shehadn’tasked. She’d decided for him. Decided he deserved something better. Something easier. Something . . . not her.
