“I’m not scared of fire,” Princess shot back.
“That’s cute, baby. Just make sure you know how to hold the water, too.” Ma reached over and gently tapped her hand. “You’re welcome back anytime.” I stood, leaned over to kiss my grandmother’s cheek again. She turned just a little more this time and whispered, “Just promise me you’ll try to be normal and let love in.”
“We’ll see,” I said. “Just never been perfect at it.”
“No such thing as perfect. But there is such a thing as willing. And I need you to be willing, Nyles, before this life swallows you whole.”
I nodded once. “Aight.”
She reached for her Bible again. “Go on now. Let me read in peace. And don’t even think about leaving me none of that money you got in your pocket. I’m fine.”
I exhaled, nodding my head, knowing damn well I was going to leave it anyway. “Take it easy, Ma.” As we walked out, Princess glanced at me sideways. “What?”
“You okay?”
I nodded once. “That’s just how we are.”
“Felt like she was preaching.”
“She always is.”
Princess smiled. “I can tell she loves you.”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Even though she doesn’t always like me.”
Before heading out, I spoke with the account manager and staff members. I made sure they took care of the money I left for my grandmother and set up everything for her weekly activities. She might’ve been old and a little frail, but she still liked to go out with her old lady friends every once in a while.
Once Princess and I were back in the car, I peeled off, noticing she was holding back something. “What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said. “I just… I see it now.”
“See what?”
“The version of you that loves. It’s buried deep, yeah… but it’s there.”
I looked over at her. “You think that’s safe?”
“No,” she said. “But I think it’s real and honest.”
I tapped the steering wheel, then reached over and took her hand, lacing our fingers slowly. She didn’t pull away, and I didn’t let go. Whatever the fuck that meant.
