His brow creased as he shut his eyes tighter, as though trying to squeeze the memory of those weeks from his mind.
I was tempted to do the same.
Words slurring a bit, he asked, “How did you drive him out?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer.
“Nova.” He clenched a fistful of the bedding, as though bracing himself. “What did you do?”
I gave him a tired smile. “Something chaotic, of course.”
It took a long moment, but he finally returned my smile with a weak, crooked little one of his own.
Gods, I’d missed that smile.
It was gone quickly, replaced by a serious expression that made my heart sink in my chest. His eyes fluttered open only to fix on the ceiling, cold and calculating.
That look reminded me of the Aleks I’d first met in this realm. Back when we were both desperate, angry, and confused, with far more questions than answers about our future. Itwas hard not to feel like we were back there, standing at the beginning with nothing except darkness ahead and curses looming above.
“How do you feel?” I asked.
He didn’t reply.
Maybe it was a stupid question. The answer was obvious enough to guess:Like shit. But I struggled to think of anything else to ask, anything comforting to say.
I slipped a hand under the covers, finding his and weaving our fingers together.
“I feel…hollow,” he finally replied, his gaze flicking briefly toward me. “Like he’s gone, but he took pieces of me with him. Pieces I should have been able to hold on to.”
I inwardly recoiled at the thought. Outwardly, I remained calm, intertwining my fingers more completely with his. That didn’t feel like enough, though, so I crawled into the bed beside him and pressed my body into his, as though I could anchor us both, somehow.
Not long after, he fell back into a fitful sleep.
I lay awake, knowing it was only a matter of time before I had to leave the relative safety of this space. Before everyone in this palace would be waking up with all of their questions and expectations for me.
My fingers absently brushed through the messy, pale waves of Aleksander’s hair. I would have sworn I could hear his thoughts when I touched him like this, as if the Vaeloran bond that had heightened when Lorien took over still remained.
Like my own, his head seemed to be filled with a tumbling mass of questions with no clear beginning or ending.
He never managed to fall into a true, deep slumber.
Eventually, he gave up, dragging himself upright and leaning against the headboard instead. He pulled me to his chest. It was bare, and slightly damp with sweat—he’d been feverish eversince we returned to Noctaris—but I didn’t care that his skin was almost unbearably hot to the touch.
I would have stayed against him even if it burned me alive.
Still, I couldn’t make myself relax as I so often had in his embrace. In hot, uncertain silence, we watched the sunrise painting the walls in deep shades of crimson and gold, until I finally gained the courage to ask, “Do you remember anything that happened in Midna?”
He shifted, bracing himself more completely against the headboard.His arms tightened around me, his heat searing into my back.
I expected him to sayno, but then he quietly recited,“Mind carved into one realm, heart into the next, body to drift where gods forget…”
He must have felt the shiver that went through me, because his hold grew even tighter, as though he could protect me from whatever came next.
“There’s more, I know.” His lips rested against my hair, his words vibrating over my ear, causing an altogether different kind of shiver. “I can’t make sense of it all,” he said, “but those words have been haunting him for a very long time. And the desperation that overtook him whenever he thought of them…”
“I know. I saw the memory playing out, the moment Calista laid that curse over him, his desperation, and…well, it almost made me feel…badfor him.”
“Hm.”
