Somewhere behind my thoughts, my wolf whined, a small, protesting sound that coiled under my sternum. If she trulythought I was making a mistake, she would have slammed forward, been insistent. Instead, she stayed back, sending me a reluctant, soul-deep ache, one that made my throat tighten and breathing difficult.
My wolf was always ready for a fight. Even when she was silent or at her lowest, she would rise to the occasion if doling out pain and blood was called for. She never gave up on Zeth either, pushing me, always pushing me to make him ours. When he smiled at me, I could almost feel it, the connection inside of me reaching out for him.
I’d felt that way even when he was a gawky kid, his limbs too long, at his dad’s side. His eyes were downcast when we met, and the second he lifted that mop of sun-kissed brown hair and those aqua-green eyes found mine, I was gone. Instantly, my thoughts changed. I knew I wanted him, now and forever.
Even now, the memory made my stomach twist.
Banishing the past, the red numbers on the stove clock glared at me. Where was he? I thought he had followed me, he always did, or at least kept pace. I’d left him in the dust on purpose, but still, my chest threatened to cave in with every second he didn’t show.
And that's the type of thinking you need to let go of, Nova.Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.Maybe he went to see Lucy?As the dull pain in my chest strengthened, my mind kept going.What's going to happen to them once he leaves? Maybe he’ll take her with him?My jaw clenched.Wouldn't that be perfect. The two of them moving away together, making a new life.
I slammed my hand on the table, and the glass toppled against the wood, the sound a sharp reminder. “Let it go, Nova,” Imurmured to myself. “You have bigger things to worry about. You’re the fucking Rossey boss. One man isnothing.” The words felt brittle and weak, even to me.
Pulling my shoulders back, I forced my spine to steady, becoming a pillar. I needed to be strong. I needed to take this love and shove it so far down that it had nowhere to go. Eventually, over time, it would disappear and fade into a memory.At least I hope so.
My wolf whined again, and I couldn't take it.
Shut up! This is best for everyone.She sank back into the dark corners of my mind, and I breathed a little easier. I couldn’t be weak about this. Plus, she seemed interested in Nick and Conrad. She would get over it.
They’re not a substitute for Zeth.
Boots on the porch echoed, and my pulse jumped. Needing something to do, I got up and pulled another glass from the cabinet, pouring three fingers into each like an offering. If he already knew I was agitated, I could pin it on Calix. Half-lies were easier to swallow with liquor.
“Nova.” His voice, low, ragged, made the room tilt. I rose before I could rehearse the goodbye I had planned. Corking the bottle, I watched him as he came in—how his shoulders carried him, how his throat bobbed when he swallowed. Pain and something hotter lanced through me. I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted copper.
Lifting my glass to hide the way my fingers trembled, I took a drink. The burn steadied me once again, settling in my stomach as my muscles tingled with the numbing effect. “Sit,” I said,kicking at the chair across from me. The single word came out flat, businesslike. “We have a lot to talk about.”
Silence pooled between us like oil, thick and uncomfortable, but I welcomed it. It gave me time to shape the sentences I wanted to say, to pick the knife with which I would cut him loose, but how to broach the subject?
My mind scrambled through options: reassignment, Calix’s warnings, the training he’d mentioned. All of them sounded like evasions. None of them sounded like the mercy I wanted it to seem like. I watched the glass in my hand catch the light and tried to feel nothing.
The sound of glass dragging along the table caught my attention. He yanked out the seat right next to me with a screech as he turned the chair to face me. Heat crawled up my neck; my wolf shifted inside of my chest, my muscles tensing as his scent filled the space around us. Sweet, smoky, and dangerous. I took another drink to steady myself.
This was ridiculous. I had much bigger problems to occupy my mind with—the men I needed to find, the human boy in need of a rescue, and the bastard who was dealing drugs in my territory.Get a fucking grip, Nova.
“Yeah, we do.” Zeth tipped his head and finished his drink like it was nothing. I couldn’t stop watching his throat work, the way the glass blurred the planes of his face. An old, irrational desire rose in the back of my mind—grab, bite, claim. The feral pull made my teeth ache for a taste. I caught myself and reached for the bottle again, pouring us another three fingers because movement steadied me. The sound of liquid hitting glass filled the room with something honest, giving me courage.
His eyes flicked to the bottle, then to me. My mind and urges were still waging their own battle, but now was not the time. I set the bottle down between us, fingers hovering over the crystal as I tried to make the next sentence clean and concise.
“First…” My voice cracked, but I took a beat, steadied it, then tried again. “First, I need you to know Calix tested the substance. Long story short, someone’s made an injection for supes, something that makes us stronger, faster, and sharper, but only for a time. Once the cells burn out, it kills us from the inside, down to the cellular level.”
Zeth’s jaw flexed, his lips parting in a low hiss. “Shit.” His fingers raked through those brown locks streaked with rebellious blond, tugging the ends as if the pain anchored him. He stared down at the table for a heartbeat before looking back up at me, his eyes swirling like a sea storm, lost in thought.
I nodded and tipped the glass against my lips. The liquor burned, cold and clean, fuzzing the edges of my mind even though my tongue sharpened. “We need to get a handle on this now. My brother’s going to tell Ezra soon so she knows it’s top priority, but since we found it at Donnie’s, I’m guessing those men she needed me to find are involved somehow.”
My sigh came out with an all-too-obvious tremor. Long nights ahead meant no time for softness.
Zeth nodded, his phone already in hand. His thumbs hovered, waiting. “Got it. Should I have the men scour the city?”
“Yes.” My voice steadied as he began to type. “Focus on turned hangouts and underground fights. It would make sense for them to use those that fly under the radar as test subjects. Make the smart men the leads on this. We don’t want to tip our hand andlet them know we’re on to them. If they get tipped off, they’ll go underground, and we’ll lose this chance.”
He typed faster, and I watched the light from his screen flicker across his face. On the drive here, I’d been telling myself that letting him go was the right thing, that it would’ve happened eventually, but my mouth dried up like ash. I couldn’t say the words out loud.
“We’re not just after dealers,” I added. “We need the distributors, the lab, and the maker. At this point, following the drug to its root is our game plan.” I fished a folded sheet from my back pocket and slid it to him. “Also have Kalen look into chemical purchases. These are the basics. Cal will send me the full list later. See if anyone’s ordering this crap in bulk.”
Zeth didn’t even glance at the list before snapping a picture and firing off a message. “Got it. I’ll keep him on task and get it over to you ASAP.”
Tucking his phone back in his pocket, he leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees, and, for a moment, I saw not the soldier or my second-in-command but the boy who had once grinned at me with his whole heart. Determination glinted in his eyes now, like steel catching sunlight.
