I didn't sleep that night. The only thing rolling around my head after all was said and done was that I needed to learn how to control it. I needed to be useful to her… so I called Manic.
A full year away from her was painful, but mastering restraint and control was more important. My mess up, my desperationfor her to love me, cost me time apart from her. Every day felt hollow and vacant.
I was so excited after I mastered my power, knowing that I could now return to where I belonged. She was a little mad at me, but nothing could ruin us, right? No amount of her anger could keep us from being where we belonged. I could work on softening her anger, proving that she should never regret picking me.
My spine went rigid, every breath shallow enough to cut. My throat burned with unshed fury as I forced a stiff nod and turned on tight hinges, palms sliced from how hard I’d clenched them. Every step toward the car rattled with the promise that something inside me was about to snap, and I wasn’t sure if it would be him or me who broke first.
Starting a fight with Nova’s brother, Syndicate boss or not, was a bad idea on its own. Doing it after he’d just helped her? Even worse.Breathe. Don’t fight him. Not worth it.
The crunch of gravel behind me made the hairs on my arm stick up, ready.
“I know what you want, Zeth Carter.” Calix’s voice dropped lower, closer, like a devil whispering in my ear. “I can see it even if she doesn’t, and I’m telling you here and now—you’re not worthy.”
The words sunk into my skin, searing me from the inside out.I know that,I wanted to tell him.Why do you think I haven’t pushed harder? Why do you think I keep my distance? Why do you think I've been holding back?
Heading for my car, I knew he'd never understand how much it cost me to keep myself in check when every nerve melted only for her. How many times I’d swallowed the urge to kneel, to begfor another chance. I’d never let my power ruin it again. I'd wait for years, decades,centuriesfor her to feel the same way for me if she would let me. If she would only open her heart just a crack.
“And she knows it, too.”
My hand froze on the door handle, heart clenching so hard I heard it crack.
A rush of air brushed my neck, then his voice was suddenly right there, hot and poisonous. “I’ve even heard she’s hanging out with a turned vampire. I mean, I don’t want her to stoopthatlow, but anything’s better than you, right?”
The last thread of sanity snapped. Rage and pain surged molten in my veins, and I couldn't keep it contained anymore. My power burst out, hungry, fast, and overwhelming. A smoky web crawled along the ground like a dangerous fog, meant to cripple him, to drag him down into the feeling of agony and make him beg. I wanted to see himbreak.
When I stepped forward and the haze cleared, a blur of motion landed right in front of me. Calix was standing there, arms crossed, smirk intact.
“You think us bosses don’t know everything about our seconds?” His gaze dragged over me with disdain. “Whenever we announced our seconds, we had to give reasons, and everyone had to agree. I was outvoted on you. But all of that is to say—” he spread his arms in a mocking invitation—“I know about your little emotional manipulation trick, and now I know I can outrun it.”
He turned his head, looking off into the distance. “Looks like you’ve got about a fifty-yard radius. You’re welcome for the test.”
I didn’t think. Didn’t feel. Justmoved.My fist cracked against his face, the crunch of bone loud as a gunshot. His grin shattered, his head snapping sideways.
For a moment, everything stilled. Calix’s head slowly turned back toward me, eyes lit up in untapped rage. Those rosy eyes turned sharp, a predator considering prey.
His fingers brushed the spot I’d hit. Whatever I’d broken was already healing, but my body still vibrated, craving another hit, another rush of violence after years of swallowing it down.
“That was a good shot.” His voice was eerily calm, still water hiding a riptide. He rubbed his face and twisted his neck to peer at me with a cruel smile that promised retribution.
My stomach dropped as I gulped.I just punched Boss Winstale in the face. Fuck!
Calix grinned wider, blood on his teeth glinting as his vampire fangs caught the fading sunlight. “You won’t get another, Carter.”
Pain detonated in my stomach before the words even finished. My body went airborne, back slamming into a tree with a sharpcrack, my ass slamming into the ground as splinters rained down all around me.
Fire erupted in my chest, sudden and merciless. My teeth ground together as the pressure gave way—hard, splintering pops that crushed the breath out of me.
I folded inward, lungs stuttering, each inhale carving me open from the inside. Deep beneath the pain, broken pieces shifted and scraped, clawing toward one another, knitting back together far too slowly, every second a fresh kind of torture.
“Now that we’ve gotten our frustrations out of the way…” He crouched in front of me, lazy smirk back in place. “I’ll give you some advice. Do your job. Leave my sister alone. She has no room in her heart for a man like you. Stay in your lane.”
He got up, giving me a pitiful look before turning away from me.
Something inside me went cold and absolute. The fury didn’t burn anymore; it locked into place. Dense and unyielding, the hard, cutting stillness edged every thought.
I knew I wasn’t good enough for her. I knew I messed up, but I’m hers whether she wants me or not. His opinion of me doesn’t change that fact.
I wanted to be the man she needed. I wanted to give her my all and let her choose. If she rejected me, it would gut me, but I deserved no less. Still, if there was a sliver of hope, I would take it. I would make her see me and prove to her over and over that I was the right one for her whether her wolf wanted to mate with me or not.
