“I will. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I’m getting ready for work the next day when my boss calls me and tells me to take a few days as personal leave. I tell him it’s not necessary, but he insists. So, I help Jace in the barn and then I wash up and head over to the Lawsons’ to see McKenna.
McKenna is in the barn when I show up. She’s walking around the space so focused on whatever she’s doing that she doesn’t even hear me enter.
“Sorry it took so long to get over here,” I say. “Jace needed extra help with the hogs.”
“Oh, hey!” She walks over and gives me a hug. “Are you doing okay?”
“I am. Thanks. I think it was a godsend—this scare. They caught it early. Dad’s on meds and he’s reluctantly following Mom’s orders for now.”
“I know he’s not making it easy on her,” McKenna says.
“He’s totally not. Why are men such awful patients?”
“Pride,” she says simply. “They can’t admit they’re human.”
“You might be right.”
We walk the barn together, talking about how things will be set up for the rehearsal and ceremony, and then we head into the kitchen for a while, hanging out with Mrs. Lawson while she cooks. In the later afternoon we drive out to the pastures to see the baby calves. The Lawson boys are at work—Cody included.
It feels like old times until I see him. I always held a secret when he was around—my feelings for him stayed tucked out of sight, but nagged at me relentlessly. Now that my secret is shared with him it’s infinitely larger and harder to hide.
“Hey, Carli,” Luke says, walking over to the fence where McKenna and I are doting on a calf.
“Hey, Luke.”
“Sorry to hear about your dad. Sure am glad he’s okay.”
“Thanks,” I say, glancing over Luke's shoulder to catch Cody staring at me intently.
I smile at him, hoping he reads everything I’m not able to say.
McKenna and I leave the pastures and cozy up on the porch swing for the rest of the afternoon, talking for hours about the wedding, my job, Westley’s film and everything else under the sun—just not the one subject I wish I could share with her.
The sun starts to dip low and Mrs. Lawson sticks her head out the back door. “Carli, are you joining us for dinner?”
McKenna puts her hand on my arm. “Say you’ll stay. I don’t want you to leave yet.”
“Let me check in with my mom,” I tell them.
“Of course, and I have some food for you to take home to them tonight.”
I check in with Mom. She assures me Dad is fine and the farm is under control, so McKenna and I wash up and help set the table.
The men file into the kitchen, boots on hardwood, rough, deep voices filling the room.
Platters are passed. Plates are filled. Cody’s sitting across from me. McKenna’s to my left.
Mr. Lawson clears his throat. “Carli, you know we’re here for your dad—for all of you—if you need us.”
I nod. “Thank you, Mr. Lawson.”
The table’s quiet for a beat and then Luke says, “So, Carli, McKenna’s getting married. When are you going to make me an honest man?”
I laugh along with the rest of the table and then my eyes meet Cody’s. He’s not laughing at first, but his wry smile spreads across his face and then through me. I’ve always thought he was the most handsome of the Lawson boys, but now, he’s devastating. A warmth creeps up my neck. I canbarely look at him. I glance at the other Lawson boys even though my body and heart remain fixed on Cody.
