His lids were low, masking most of his eyes. “Well, I mean, I was going to.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Why didn’t you?”
He shrugged. “I figured I’d get less shit from you.”
This fucking kid.
“Get your ass upstairs,” Jonah shouted.
Roxanne expected Holden to break away from her and follow Jonah’s order immediately. Instead, he turned slightly, pulling her in for a hug. “Thanks, Rox. You really are the best.”
As much anger as she had roaring through her body, she wasn’t immune to the sincerity in his tone. She hugged him and walked him closer to the stairs before letting go.
She watched Holden walk up slowly. He had enough sense to hold on to the banister. Still, she watched his every move, ready to jump into action if he swayed backward. When he made it to the landing, she released her breath.
“Sorry about that.” Jonah lifted his chin toward the stairs.
“It’s fine.” She turned to the door hoping to escape the awkwardness. Seeing him again reminded her of how raw and heartbreaking their breakup had been.How it still is.
“How are you?”
She ducked her head and swallowed the knot in her throat. “I’m good. I have to go.”
His boots clacked against the wood, and she felt him move closer. “Let me walk you out.”
Absolutely not.She spun around and pressed her back against the door. She knew he was behind her but hadn’t realizedhow close. Jonah stood only a foot away. They’d been in this position a few times. It was usually followed with a kiss that led to more.
It was the worst time to be thinking of their past. Still, it plagued her mind like a force she couldn’t escape. Like going back in time, when things were different. She wanted that back. Without another rational thought, she acted on impulse.If this is all I get, then I’m taking it. She closed the gap between them, slid her hand up his chest, and his hands immediately gripped her hips, pulling her closer.
“Rox, I …”
Talking was out of the question. She wouldn’t let him ruin this moment for her. She lifted her chin, hiked up on her toes, and kissed him. This was probably a bad decision. It’d only make this breakup harder. She wasn’t even sure why she did it, but Roxanne wanted one last memory. And Jonah didn’t disappoint.
He crushed her against his chest, his hand clasping her neck as his tongue slipped past her lips. The man knew how to kiss. His fingers dug into her skin as if he were afraid she’d pull away. She didn’t, giving in to their last kiss. It was all too familiar and natural. She wrapped her arms around his waist, tightening her hold.
“Stay,” he whispered, cupping her neck, trailing his fingers through her hair.
It would be easy to say yes.I want to say yes. But nothing had changed. Not for Jonah and not for her. Reality had the worst timing. She ended the kiss just as quickly as she’d started it.
Roxanne shook her head, veering her gaze to the floor. It’d be easier to leave if she weren’t looking at him.
“I can’t.” Unintentionally, she was throwing his words back at him. “Nothing has changed, Jonah. Even if I spend the night, we’ll wake up tomorrow and be in the same position.” She drewa breath, turning her head, and his hand fell to his side. “I’d still be in love with you. And there would still be no place for me in your life.”
“I was wrong,” he whispered. “Your place is with me.”
She shook her head.
“I love you,” he whispered.
This was what she’d wanted to hear. The only problem was that it wasn’t enough now. Maybe T was right, and Jonah had pushed her away because of his own demons. But they were still there, and if he kept them hidden, it was only a matter of time until they ended up back in their current position.
Roxanne shook her head. “You don’t trust me, Jonah. We both know that.”
“I trust you.” His tone was graveled but stern.
She glanced up. The hardest part was knowing he wanted to, but he couldn’t. Roxanne didn’t know if that reflected on her or their relationship.
“Not the way you need to for this to work between us.”
