“You okay, honey?”
For some reason, his gentle tone and his question grated on her nerves. She’d had enough of people walking on eggshells around her. Her eyes flared before she burst out. “Know what? I’m fine. As fine and as okay as I can be. I can deal with the loss, even. What I can’t deal with is being treated like an invalid.”
Armaan looked shocked at her outburst.
“There’s Tanya who almost feels guilty to come before me; as if I’d punish her for being pregnant. And then there’s Natasha, walking around me with a constant, cheerful smile. But you, you’re the worst.” Her eyes shone with bitter tears.
“What? I’ve been trying to do my best here. What do you mean?” Armaan retaliated, standing up.
“Exactly! You’re trying too hard to be someone you’re not. Not even two months back you walked out on me, without looking back. How come you’re so considerate all of a sudden?”
“Mia, you asked me to leave. I did not volunteer to break up with you.” He gritted out, his temper at a snapping point.
“But you were the one who didn’t love me.” She cried.
“Enough! Enough is enough.” He snapped. “I’ve been trying my best here for the last three weeks, wanting to make sure you’re recuperating, trying to understand your emotions and needs. And what do I get in return? This!” He spat.
Mia turned speechless, something snapping inside her after nearly a month.
“Here I am, trying to deal with you and the loss of our baby. Yes, OUR baby. She was mine too. I too had expectations and feelings. That doesn’t matter, does it? I’m doing my best to manage your restaurant with Tom and two other women. But, you don’t care about all that, do you?”
“What?” Her heart squeezed at his loss of control. This, this was real. This was Armaan, and this was what was missing.
“I have a father who’s still recuperating from a goddamn heart attack, dammit! Yet, I’m here with you, instead of being at his side. I...I’m done!” Suddenly, he lost steam; he turned around and walked out of the door even as she fell to the ground, her tears finally bursting out of her system.
She didn’t know how long she cried. She finally let out all her pent-up grief over the loss of her relationship, her friend, and her baby. Everything came out in the form of tears. After what seemed like hours, she got up to wash her face. Her eyes were red and blotchy from all the tears. Realizing she’d been living in limbo, she decided to take baby steps towards normalcy.If I could come out of an abusive marriage, I can do this too, she thought to herself. Taking a deep breath, she first called Tom and informed him she’d be back to work the next day. She knew it was the easiest of the things she had to do. What was more difficult was facing the reality that was waiting outside the door.
Getting out of the room, she peeked to see if the light was on in Armaan’s room. Seeing no movement there, she went down the stairs slowly. She absently noticed the huge paintings on the wall and the potted plants in the landing. Her eyes then went to the huge, masculine living room. To her disappointment, she couldn’t find him there as well. Immediately, she turned the other side and walked towards the kitchen.
The kitchen alone was half the size of her apartment, she mused. Mia tried not to stare at all the fancy kitchen equipment. Finally, her eyes landed on the island, where she saw him. He stood with his palm on the island, his shoulders slumped, and his posture entirely defeated.
Her eyes prickled when she realized she was one of the main reasons for his state. She’d been selfish in her healing, not including him - the father of the child. She saw it now in technicolor; how she’d unconsciously pushed him away, almost punishing him. Taking a shaky breath, she walked next to Armaan and hugged him from behind. “Sorry!”
He startled when he felt her arms around him. Gently plying her arms away, he turned around. “No, that’s my line. I lost my temper once again; something I seem to do way too often when it comes to…”
She placed a finger on his lips. “No.” She went into his arms voluntarily, snuggling into his chest. “It was my fault too. I didn’t think you’d also be affe…” She broke off, burrowing her head deeper into his chest. “The baby was yours too. Ours.” She whispered, finally acknowledging him as the father and embracing him in her grief.
Armaan tightened his arms around her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Before he could move away, she went on her tiptoes and gently kissed him on his lips. “I missed you.”
He swallowed. He paused for a few seconds before he replied in a hoarse voice. “Me too. More than you’d ever know. I shouldn’t have bulldozed you the other day with that awful marriage proposal. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s because of me that you lost our...”
“No! Don’t say that. I didn’t even realize until nine weeks that I was pregnant. I should have been more cautious, especially with my condition. If anyone failed, it was me.” Her eyes were full of anguish.
“Sugar, is that what you think?” He looked shocked. “First of all, stop putting yourself down. It is unfortunate that you have to deal with a medical condition like endometriosis. But, to think you’re the cause of this? That’s...just so…” He stopped and continued in all seriousness. “We’ll try to get all the help we can for a smoother, pain-free life, but you must stop feeling guilty.” His tone was firm, almost daring her to feel guilty for something she wasn’t responsible for.
She rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes. At last, she felt some peace after months; months of inner conflict. After a few minutes, Armaan cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes, searching for signs of distress. To his intense relief, all that he saw was determination.
Unwilling to speak any further, she pulled him upstairs, leading him to his room. She pulled him inside and closed the door with a soft push.
Armaan waited, not sure where this was going. When her hands removed her pale-pink, silky pajama tops, his eyes widened. This was the first time she had initiated sex, and he didn’t know whether to be thrilled or concerned. “I know you’re feeling apologetic. But...but don’t...not like this.” His lips said no but his eyes refused to budge from her lace-clad body.
She hardly heard him. Noticing his hands clenched by his side and his dilated pupils, she felt a thrill pass through her body. Feeling powerful at her femininity for the first time, she was eager to use it. She walked towards the bed and pulled him closer. Working on his clothes, she first removed his shirt; after unbuttoning the last button, she shimmied down, finally ending up on her knees.
“This...is a bad idea. You must rest.” He croaked.
“Hmm.” Once again, she ignored his verbal message and revelled at the way his body was reacting right in front of her eyes. Her hands trembled as she fumbled with the fastening in his jeans. Before she lost her nerve completely, she encircled him with her hand and leaned forward to kiss him. Her blue-green eyes shot to his when she heard him hiss out a curse. Realizing he was very much affected by her, by what she was doing, she went ahead and pleasured him using her hands and her mouth.
Armaan could hardly believe what was happening. Just a couple of hours back things were looking bleak. He thought he’d lost Mia along with their child. Who knew he’d find heaven instead? Despite her awkward and slightly clumsy start, she quickly caught on, nearly driving him out of control with that sinful mouth of hers. When he felt the familiar tingle, he tried to get her away from him. She resisted his warning and carried on, refusing to let go. His heart almost stopped beating when he realized what she was ready for. Her enthusiasm sky-rocketed his desire, and he finally let himself go with a torturous groan.
