“Well, no offense, honey, but it smelled funny. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it after you watch a few videos.”
Dragging my eyes from her overly decorated face, I focused on getting to my shop in one piece so I didn’t kill the woman by swerving off the road, directly into a telephone pole.
Pulling up to the store, I grabbed my things. “Delilah can be a little temperamental, but if you’re patient, she’ll take care of you. Just be careful at stoplights. Sometimes she likes to die, and you have to give her a second to start up again.”
“Wonderful,” she said way too cheerily. “I can’t thank you enough for this. Honestly, I always wanted to have a sister, and now I have one!”
She reached across the console and hugged me, barely touching me. It was…awkward at best.
“Just have her back by two. I have deliveries to make this afternoon.”
“No problem!”
But as she drove away in Delilah, I had this horrible feeling that the worst of my day was not yet over.
I rushedto the phone as it rang for the fourth time. I had been in the middle of mixing some herbs together for a client and hadn’t been able to stop measuring.
“Rock and Root Remedies. This is Josie.”
“Darling, please tell me you’ve gotten rid of that floozy your brother brought home to meet us,” my grandmother sighed.
“She’s staying with us right now, and let me tell you, it’s worse than you think,” I grumbled, thinking of my poor Delilah right now, suffering at the hands of that horrible woman.
“What does he see in her?”
“Sex. Lots and lots of sex. I’ve slept in my car two nights in a row. Actually, my neighbor took pity on me and let me stay on his couch.”
“Neighbor? Would this be the same grump who won’t take care of the dog?”
“The very same one, but he’s nicer to humans,” I chuckled.
“Have you heard the names?”
“Cuddlebug and Boo Bear? Ad nauseam. I’m about to make up some of my own nicknames for them, and they won’t be nearly as nice as the ones they’ve chosen.”
“Maybe you could take her hiking and accidentally lose her,” Grandma mused.
“Well, since Sawyer is on mountain rescue, I hardly think he would give up if she wasn’t found.”
“True. Perhaps a little sleeping draught in her tea?”
“She won’t drink my tea. Apparently, it smelled funny.”
“Breakfast?”
“She wouldn’t eat that either. Maybe she’ll starve to death.”
“I don’t know what he sees in her,” Grandma sighed again. “She’s older than your mother. Well, older than she would be if she was still with us, God rest her soul.”
“Mom would have kicked her out already. I have too much of Dad in me.”
“Well, your father never was very tough. Have you heard from him recently?”
“Just that he’s having the time of his life, wandering around the country like a hobo.”
“Any idea if he’ll be home for the holidays?”
“Haven’t heard anything yet. But since he missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, I doubt he’ll make it home for the summer holidays.”
