“Uh, because I’ve never, nor will I ever, eat sheep anus. Besides, you seem to have it in your head that I’m a witch or something. You can’t blame me for wanting to screw with you a little.”
“You do run an apothecary shop.”
“And?” I asked, tugging him over to the table.
“And most people just go to the pharmacy and grab medicine.”
“Sure,” I nodded, digging into my sandwich. “And there are natural remedies that are just as effective for a lot of things.”
“Whatever,” he muttered, hesitantly taking his first bite.
“So? Is it as bad as you expected?”
Instead of answering, he shoved another bite in his mouth. Chuckling, I ignored him and went back to my own sandwich.I wasn’t even halfway done when he finished, then slowly munched on his chips, watching me strangely.
“What? Do I have food on my face?”
“You’re not what I expected,” he said slowly.
“And what was that?”
He shrugged. “Not sure. But when I saw you talking to your car, you scared me a little.”
“Well, I always talk to my cars. I find it soothing.”
“Soothing,” he repeated, dumbfounded by my words.
“Yes, like we have some sort of symbiotic relationship or something. I don’t know, I just feel that if I talk to her, I’m soothing her.”
“But…she can’t talk back. She—the car—” he corrected, huffing in annoyance, “is just a vehicle.”
“I’m well aware.”
“So, you know you’re talking to an inanimate object.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t expect her to talk back,” I grinned.
“And you’ve always been like this. You didn’t hit your head one day and start talking to cars?”
“Nope. I’ve been like this my whole life. You should have seen me with my dolls.”
“Not sure I want to know about that,” he muttered, shoving to his feet to take his plate to the sink.
“It was actually really bad when I was little. See, I had all my dolls on my bed, but throughout the night, some of them would fall to the ground. And when I woke up in the morning, I felt just awful that they were on the floor. Like, somehow, their feelings were hurt that they’d been kicked off the bed.”
“So, you think your dolls come alive just like inToy Story.”
“Well, no. I don’t think they come to life, but I always worried that somehow, they would have their feelings hurt.”
He sat there staring, judging me. Not that I was surprised. Most men didn’t get it. Yes, I talked to inanimate objects, butwas I hurting anyone? Not at all. As far as I was concerned, I was bonding with whatever I was talking to. Sort of like for good karma or something.
“You know, I think I should go.”
I shifted in my seat, grinning up at him. “Because I’m weird and you can’t handle it?”
“I can handle it. I just don’t want to.”
“Ha! You think I’m going to host a tea party for my dolls and make you drink imaginary tea with them!”
