“Stop looking over there. Just look at me.”
“But if I look at you, I have to look at the spider. And the spider is preventing me from getting away from the giant thing with big eyes coming toward me!” I screamed. “It’s probably Aragog or some equally horrendous spider.”
“What the hell is Aragog?”
“The gigantic spider fromHarry Potter! Don’t you ever watch movies? That thing could have killed me, and its sister, or whatever it is, is about to crawl over here and wrap me up in her web for dinner. This is the last time you’ll ever see me!”
“Okay, there are no spiders big enough to wrap you in a gigantic web.”
“You haven’t seen the size of this one!”
“Who’s hiding under the porch?”
“The neighbor.”
“Ah, well, we always knew she was a little out there.”
Neighbors were swarming around the porch, mocking me as I tried desperately not to lose my shit. There was no getting out of here. I was going to die young and alone. Under a porch.
This was a place reserved for serial killers.
“Hey, look, look, look!” Tennessee shouted, drawing my attention. “Look, I’m going to reach in and squish the spider.”
“What?” I screeched. “You’re insane! You can’t do that!”
But he didn’t listen to me. His hand wrapped around the spider blocking my entrance, and he squished.
I screamed. Lord, did I scream. Vomit rose in my throat and it took every ounce of willpower to keep from throwing up in the dirt under his porch. But I couldn’t panic right now. There were beady eyes coming toward me and my exit was finally clear.
Scrambling forward, I shoved myself through the tiny gap under the steps and hurled myself onto the grass, rolling around to get off or squash any other bugs that might be attaching themselves to me at this very moment.
“Josie!”
I felt his hands on me, and then I really freaked out.
“Don’t touch me!” I shot to my feet, defending myself to the very end. “Keep your spider guts away from me. How could you do that?”
“Do what?” he asked, his eyes wide as he watched me completely melt down.
“You reached in and—” Just the sight of his hands had me gagging hard. I bent over, heaving as I imagined the squished spider guts sticking to every inch of his palms.
“Okay, whatever the hell is going on here, you need to calm the fuck down.”
His hand touched my back, and I lost it. I flung myself away from him, hitting the ground hard as I tripped over something in the yard. Scrambling to get away from him, the panic threatened to overwhelm me.
“I—I need to calm down?” I shouted incredulously. “You! You are covered in spider guts, and you tried to touch me!”
“I tried to help you,” he scoffed. “Why were you even under my porch?”
“Because I was hiding from you!”
“Obviously,” he retorted. “Because of the dog food, right? You’ve been feeding the damn dog.”
“Because he thinks he’s your dog!”
Maverick stepped in between us, holding up his hands at both of us. “Alright, let’s just calm down and take a moment to breathe.”
“I’ll breathe when he washes his hands!”
