Josie shot him an evil look as he wheeled toward me. Maybe that meant Sawyer was on my side.
“You hurt her, I’ll kill you and stuff your body in a drain pipe.”
Then again, maybe not.
“How are you feeling?”
A huff of laughter slipped from her lips. “Do you really care?”
“Of course I do.”
“Yeah? Could have fooled me. That disappearing act you pulled says otherwise.”
“Josie—”
“Save it,” she snapped, hissing in a breath.
Rushing forward, I gently eased her into a more comfortable position, peeling the front of the gown down to examine the cut on her chest. Red and inflamed, it looked worse than yesterday.
“Have you been putting the salve on your chest?”
“They told me not to.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not their kind of medicine,” she muttered, rolling her eyes as much as her bruised face would allow.
That was just fucking ridiculous. I trusted Josie with her medicine more than any doctor. Searching through the drawers, I found the jar and gently applied it, berating myself for not only leaving her alone, but also for the condition she was in.
“I’m sorry I walked away,” I said quietly.
“I expected nothing less.”
Those words alone cut me deeper than anything else she could have said. I was that predictable. She knew that when it got hard, I would cut and run. It didn’t matter if I thought I was doing it to protect her. I had done exactly as she expected.
How could she ever trust me?
“I thought you wanted me to go,” I said, berating myself for making it sound like I was making up excuses.
“JR, I told you once, I’m not interested in trying to fix a man.”
“I know, and that’s not—” Sighing, I took a seat, looking her straight in the eyes. “I’m gonna fuck up, Josie. I know it’s not fair to ask you to stick around and put up with my bullshit, but…”
I swallowed hard around the words. I was terrible at laying everything on the line, at saying what I felt. And even worse, that dead look in her eyes just made it harder to be vulnerable.
But I had to.
“I’m asking you to forgive me. I’m asking you to stick by me even when I screw up. I know I don’t offer a lot, and I know that I bring a shit ton of baggage that you’d probably rather not deal with. But I swear to you, I will never run away from you again. I might go for a drive to clear my head, and you might have to kick me in the balls every once in a while to put me in my place, but I’ll stay through it all.”
Not a single breath passed through my lips as I waited for a reaction from her. The shimmer of tears in her eyes was her only reaction, and that scared me more than anything. She was the one good thing in my life, and if she kicked me to the curb, I just didn’t know how to keep moving forward.
“JR…I want to say yes,” she whispered. “I want to tell you that I believe you and we can take this chance?—”
“Then say yes.” My breath rushed out of me in one painful swoop. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. My chest felt like it was caving in on me, and moisture filled my eyes for the first time since I was a kid.
I was fucking crying.
“I love you, Josie.” Blinking back the tears, I met her gaze. “I know I ran. I was so fucking scared when I saw you lying in this bed, knowing it was all my fault. My choices put you here, and…I can’t take it. I can’t see you like this ever again. But I can’t live without you either. I can’t wake up every morning, knowing I’ll never see you again. I swear to you, I will do anything. I will make you tea every morning. I’ll get a different job. I’ll?—”
