I didn’t see the look on her face, but I knew she wasn’t happy with me. There was a difference between living on the wild side and ending up in the hospital. But I needed to hear from JR and figure out what happened.
“Josie—”
“Please.”
“Alright, but only a minute. And if you hurt her in any way, I will tie you down and chop off your balls while you writhe in agony,” she snapped at JR.
“If I hurt her, I’d gladly let you,” he responded, walking over to my bedside.
As my grandma left the room, I focused on JR, unsure of what to say. He stood there for a solid minute, not saying a thing. Finally, he pulled out a jar and sat down beside me on the bed.
“I made this for you,” he said, removing the lid. “I’m not sure it’s as good as you would make it, but I followed your recipe.”
The smell of herbs hit my nose immediately, and as he dipped his fingers into the concoction, his eyes slid over my chest.
“I can do it,” I said, my voice still gravelly.
But as I tried to sit up, I winced at the pain shattering my body. I had blacked out several times as that man beat me. My ribs were sore and my stomach ached from how many times he hit me.
“Lay back down,” he snapped, his frustration bubbling up. Carefully, he slid the gown down my body, his eyes turning lethally dark as he took in the massive amount of bruising.
Very carefully, he applied the ointment, his eyes laser-focused on the task at hand. “This never should have happened. I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” I whispered.
I didn’t know what else to say to him. Telling him this wasn’t his fault wouldn’t do a damn thing. I knew that much about JR. After hearing all the shit he’d been through, there was no way he wasn’t blaming himself for this.
And honestly, I wasn’t sure how I felt about any of it at the moment. I knew I was in pain, but I also wanted him beside me. I was safest with him.
At least, that’s what my heart was telling me.
Time would tell what my brain said as the fog of pain cleared.
After he was done, he eased the gown back over my body and took a seat beside me. “I cleaned up the house,” he finally said. “I’ll pay for any damage.”
“JR—”
“I’m leaving,” he said, his eyes meeting mine in a fierce gaze.
Not knowing what to say, I just stared at him, but inside, the thought of him leaving terrified me.
“I never should have— Being with me will only put you in danger.”
He’d told me all about his life. I knew what he had done, but he’d also made so many changes to his life, whether he believed it or not. He wasn’t the same man, and that much was clear to me.
“So, you’re just leaving?”
“I’ll only hurt you.”
I wanted to tell him to stay, to tell him I needed him, but my brain was so muddled not only with pain and confusion, but everything that had happened was still too fresh.
“Where will you go?”
He seemed surprised by the question. “I’m not sure.”
Nodding, I let my eyes slip closed. Exhaustion was creeping up on me, and staying away for this conversation—just to hear him tell me goodbye—wasn’t something I was interested in.
“Take care of yourself, Josie,” he whispered before pressing a kiss to my forehead.
