“I’ll be safe,” he promised, gently cupping my cheek with his big hand, so warm and calloused and familiar. “If we don’t do this today, this shit will never fucking end. He won’t stop, which means the only way out isthrough.”
My chest squeezed at those words, at what they meant. “Sledge, please.”
His jaw clenched but not in anger, in restraint. “I need you to trust me.”
I blinked up at him, hanging on to logic for dear life even as fear gripped me tight and twisted deep in my gut. “I do trust you. That’s the problem.” I knew he would do whatever it took to keep Zoya safe, even if it put him in the path of danger.
He grinned slowly, leaning down until his lips brushed mine. “Good.”
The kiss started soft but then he groaned, the sound was ripped from somewhere low in his chest and it deepened, heat rising between us until my knees wobbled and my fingers curled into the leather of his vest because I needed something to hold on to. His kiss tasted like promise and danger. Like something I wanted desperately but wasn’t quite ready to name.
He pulled away first, gentle yet firm. Determined. “I’ll be back,” he murmured. “I promise.”
We both knew he couldn’t promise that, but I didn’t want to argue, didn’t want to distract him or fill his mind with unnecessary bullshit before he went into certain danger.
Before I could reply or cling or drag him back inside, he was gone, striding away from me and into the mouth of danger.
Anxiety crackled under my skin, mixed in with worry and electricity as dozens of motorcycle engines roared to life. With my eyes closed, I inhaled a deep breath and I didn’t open them, didn’t breathe again until the roar faded into silence.
I gave myself a moment and then forced myself into motion because if I stayed still, my mind would torture me with an endless playlist of worst case scenarios.
“Shake it off, girl,” I muttered to myself. I was worried, I could admit that but I wouldn’t let it rule the entire day. I put worry on the background and focused on Zoya.
I left the room and found Zoya bent over her sketchpad in the bar area while the other kids played around her. She wasn’t left out or lonely, just keeping to herself and doing herown thing. Her expression was so serious, so heartbreakingly innocent that it threatened to shatter my already fragile heart.
She looked up when I took the seat beside her, eyes bright and a smile on her face. She slid off the chair and wrapped her arms around me.
“Hey sweet, girl. Having fun?” I smoothed her curls back, the move natural and full of love as I inhaled the scent of her coconut-strawberry shampoo.
Zoya nodded, flicking a gaze to her sketchpad.
“Can I see?” I held my breath, bracing myself for whatever darkness she needed to get out.
She nodded again, sliding the sketchpad across the table. She stood and watched me with her little hands clasped together tight with worry.
I let out a heavy breath when I saw the drawing. It was three people holding hands under a bright sun. They were smiling and happy to be together and the two adults? Wore large golden bands on their fingers. I turned to face her with a hopeful expression on my face but slightly restrained because I had no idea what she actually thought of the news. “Your dad told you that we got married?”
She nodded slowly, reaching out to touch the ring as if it were a bomb that might explode. She ran her finger over it carefully.
“Are you upset about it, Zoya?” I waited but she said nothing, just kept running her finger across the white gold band. “However you feel, it’s okay.”
She shook her head and I wished, more than anything, that she could tell me what was in her head and her heart.
Relief sliced through me. “I’m glad you’re not upset,” I whispered. “But just so you know, Z, I love you. I don’t want you to forget about your mom and I won’t try to replace her, but I need you to know that we can both love you. And…” I began and faltered as emotion swelled tight in my throat. “I really love you Zoya and I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you. Okay?”
Her lower lip trembled. Then, very slowly, Zoya lifted her arms and wrapped them around my neck.
I froze for half a second before hugging her back, pulling her tight against me. She tucked her face into my shoulder, soft and small, and I felt dampness there, her tears, not mine. “I promise.”
When she finally leaned back, she looked at me with a seriousness I hadn’t seen on a child’s face since I was her age and watching my reflection in the mirror each morning, willing myself to talk.
“I love you,” she whispered.
My heart just… stopped. Completely and totally stopped in my chest. And then something else happened, it burst, pounding hard and fast inside my chest as if it needed more room to grow, to fit those three words whispered from a child’s lips. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could stop them.
Zoya reached up and touched them.
“Sweet girl,” I said on a shaky whisper. I cupped her cheeks, pressing a kiss to her forehead as emotion ripped through me. “I love you too, honey. So, so much.”
