“Oh my God, Ruby!” Eve shot up from the couch and threw her arms around me.
The buttons of her blouse scraped against the still-fresh ink, but it was nothing compared to the ache splitting me open inside. The two merged until I couldn’t tell which was which. And the phantom pain was still there, sharp and constant, like missing a limb.
Eve pulled back just enough to search my face, her hands gripping my shoulders. “You have to say it,” she said, firm and insistent, as if she was worried I’d retreat into the smart-mouthed shell I always hid in. “Do you love him?”
I sniffled, my face streaked, wet, and raw. With a crooked smile through the tears, I managed to say, “Maybe a little?”
They both laughed. Rio pushed out of her seat and stood up to join us. “I knew it. A little, my ass. You’re barely holding it together because you love him so much.”
“Shut up, you.” I swiped at her shoulder, half-crying, half-laughing.
“Poor thing, she’s new to all of this,” Eve said to Rio.
“I always wondered how it’d go down for her,” Rio said over my head to Eve.
“Hey,” I said weakly.
“You have to tell him,” Eve said, her eyes bright with quiet happiness.
The laughter faded, my shaky exhales and the clumsy swipe of my sleeve across my face filling the space. Before I could stop myself, the words tumbled out—jagged piecestorn from within. “What if I’m too much for him? Not now, but later—when it’s all of me, every day, and he finally gets the full dosage?”
“Oh, Ruby.” Evangeline’s voice was soft, like she’d just seen the heart of the wound.
Rio shook her head, fierce and certain. “Sweetie, if he wanted less, he would’ve walked away years ago.”
Evangeline’s gaze steadied on mine, unwavering. “He won’t get tired of you, Ruby. He keeps choosing you. Again and again. You’re never too much. Not to us, not to him.”
I closed my eyes, willing their words to take root, to replace the self-doubt.
“Youhaveto tell him,” Eve repeated, her voice urgent now. “He already loves you as you are. If you tell him this scares you, he’ll only hold you closer.”
The words thudded gently. I swallowed, still caught between tears, relief, and the ache of not yet daring to believe, when a quick knock sounded at the door.
A second later, Daphne stepped in.
She paused when she caught sight of the three of us standing together in a messy, tear-streaked hug. She raised an eyebrow. “Why are we group hugging? And why is Ruby crying?”
“Because Ruby loves Sebastian,” Rio blurted.
Daphne approached without hesitation, wrapping her arms around all of us and pulling me in tight. “Finally,” she muttered.
Rio chuckled, still holding on. “We’ve been shippingRubastianfor a while now, but we didn’t want to say it out loud. You know, kind of like when you shippedRiOwen.”
Evangeline leaned back just enough to catch my eye. “Show her.”
We all peeled apart, and I hitched up my shirt, baring the mark on my skin.
Daphne’s lips parted in a smile. “Guess you’ve been stamped,” she murmured dryly, but with an understanding glint in her eyes that told me she knew what it meant.
Her words reached deeper than she knew. Because I’d tried to scar myself onto him that night—wild, frantic, terrified he’d forget me. Yet,Iended up with Sebastian literally branded onme.
44
Sebastian
THE OPEN WINDOW CARRIEDin the traffic noise from the street. At eleven p.m., it was still busy down there, and the sound made my apartment feel less lonely. The fall night was mild, the air soft against my skin as I lay in bed, scrolling through work emails on my tablet.
Nathan had texted earlier, trying to rope me into a night out with him, Hillary, and Alison. I’d declined. I didn’t have it in me to make small talk, to pretend I was interested. Staying in was easier. Numbers and schematics didn’t ask questions. They didn’t notice when your chest ached.
