“I will,” she said, eyes locked on mine like she wanted me to read something in the blue pools.
“You can tell me anything, Ruby,” I said quietly. One more try.
When she stayed silent, I walked out, leaving her standing there in the office.
I wanted to fight her. I wanted to shake her. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to kiss her and love her and never let go. I’d turned it over from every angle since getting back from meeting Brandon last night, but there was no formula for her. With Ruby, my instincts won over intellect. And my instincts—my heart—told me that no one could be forced to change. Least of all Ruby. She had to choose it for herself.
A good engineer knows when extra force only weakens the frame, and a true friend knows when letting someone find their own footing is the only way they’ll stand.
But it wasn’t easy, because God, I loved her. All of her. Even the parts that fought me, and herself.
37
Ruby
I WANTED TO RUN AFTERhim. I wanted to call, “Don’t go! Stay!”
My heart pounded, my voice caught in my throat, and my legs stayed put, frozen, like they knew they should wait for my mind to herd all those wild emotions back into line.
I called him Seb. We never used nicknames. Those knocked down a layer we ensured to keep in place all these years.
“I want you. God, I do. I fucking love you, okay? That’s what you want to hear? That I fell in love with you? Because I did! And I’m terrified. Terrified that I’ll become someone who depends on it, who gets soft and open and starts needing things. And then what happens when you decide you’ve had enough? Or change your mind? Or realize I’m not the forever kind?”
I was screaming all of this in my head, but I couldn’t utter a single word out loud.
Much like my inn, my heart was falling apart piece by piece—and there was no crew I could call to fix it. Not even my friends. The only engineer who could draw up a plan to put me back together was him.
And just like that, all those emotions colliding inside me—fear, love, need, fear again—hardened into something I could actually deal with—anger.
I stormed out of my office.
“Ruby, we have—” Sandra tried to call after me.
“Later,” I snapped, not even glancing back as I pushed through the crowd of workers and equipment at the entrance.
Through the garden. Into my cottage. I grabbed what I came for. Then straight to Sea Glass.
I didn’t hesitate. One knock. No pause. I barged in.
Sebastian was in the bedroom, duffel bag on the bed, half-full.
“Here. You left this at mine.” I tossed the T-shirt and boxers into the open bag like they were on fire.
He turned toward me, a surprised smile tugging at his mouth. “Thanks?”
It wasn’t rational. Part of me was sure he wouldn’t need them again, because he probably wasn’t coming back. “Just so you know—” I started, then faltered. “Just so you know—”
“Yes?”
He was going to let me wrestle this on my own. And I hated him for it. And I fucking loved him for it.
The words exploded out of me, sharp and raw. “Why did you have to go and ruin everything?”
He blinked, then replied, his voice low and steady. “You’re the only woman who thinks loving her is ruining things.”
Loving. The word dropped like a stone in my chest, heavy and even more terrifying now that it was out in the open, mirroring my unuttered one.
“You know I’ve never even been to your apartment in Houston, right?” My voice was too loud. But wasn’t that my staple? “You live in Houston, Texas. Not around the corner. Not even in the same state!”
