I couldn’t argue with that.
“Thing is, he has to sign the permit for the updated structure,” I said after we crossed a few more yards of wet sand. “So he has to stay here until it’s done.”
“And that’s bad,” Rio said, her tone ending in question. Again, not mocking, just making sure she understood.
“I just ... I don’t ...”
“Do you have feelings for him?” she asked.
The question cut my pace for a second. “I’m feeling ... things.” That was the first time I admitted it out loud. I hadn’t before, not even when Rio had asked me weeks ago.
Rio burst out laughing, not in a gentle chuckle this time. “Oh, my God, Ruby! I love you, you know that?” The ‘G’ lingered a little in her throat; With me, her stutter appeared only when she was excited.
“I love you, too, Rio.” I bent to pick up a shiny shell.
“And you love Sebastian,” she said.
“Maybe as a friend.” I straightened up, shoving windblown curls back from my face.
“Are you sure about that? Because I know he’s the only constant man in your life. And I know—sometimes against my will—how attracted you are to him, Ms.‘Constant Wet Panties When He’s Around,’”She quoted me with exaggerated flair. “And how great the sex is, that he’s the best you’ve had. And Ialsoknow you love his brain, his humor, his care, the things you share, the fun you have, the way he’s helping you now ...”
“So?”
“So? Are you kidding me? Want me to open a dictionary and show you that this is the literal definition of being in love?”
“Oh, come on! Then I must be in love with you too, because I love all these things about you as well.”
“Ruby, babe, you can play untouchable and cool about sex all you want with others. Sebastian had broken through that wall a long time ago. You’re just not ready, and I get that.” She reached out, fingers brushing my elbow, slowing me mid-step. “I’m sure your parents’ divorce and your dad leaving play a part in it,” Rio said gently, “but lots of people come from divorced families and still want the whole forever thing. You just ... learned to stop believing in it.”
She couldn’t have known I was part of why he left—I never exactly paraded it.
“And maybe,” she continued, “you don’t want to give up on the way you live your life, and that’s okay.”
“Exactly. We’ve got it good. Why change it?”
“You don’t have to. But you do need to tell him that.”
“I did. Last night.”
“And ...” Rio stopped walking. She looked down at our feet in the water, then back up. “You also have to face the fact that he might not want that anymore. That he’s ready for something real. That he might walk away. Start dating other people seriously.”
The ache that coiled in my chest at that moment was almost unbearable.
“Which should be fine, because he’s just a friend,” Rio added, twisting the knife.
“Right. He is,” I said, breaking eye contact, my gaze drawn to the orange sun kissing the water.
“Or ... you’re catching real feelings and you hate it because it’s scary. That’s also an option.”
I was. And I hated it.
I wanted to stay in control, to cruise through my no-casualties-zone life. I wanted smooth sailing, not to be wrecked on the sharp rocks of feelings.
“I’m cold, and I’m taking you to eat somewhere. My treat,” Rio said after a moment of quiet wading along the shore. She rubbed her arms against the chill. “How’s the renovationgoing?”
“Harder than I thought going into it. We need to tear down more walls, replace insulation around critical areas, add solid, long-lasting, enduring support beams.”
“Kinda like—” Rio paused mid-sentence.
