“What happened?”
I needed to unburden. I couldn’t stand the ache of longing anymore, but all that came out was, “Remember the movie we watched?” before January’s sons came to tell her that she should get ready for the ceremony.
When Oliver and January recited the words that Angelo and I had said to each other without meaning them, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
Tammy looked at me as if I had fallen from Mars. I never cried. She couldn’t have known that there were many things I had never done that I had done over the last few months.
Lennox put a hand on my arm. “You okay?” he mouthed.
I nodded in response.
When January abstained from drinking at the party after the ceremony, I guessed why. I was happy for her and Oliver. She had two grown sons, but she was only thirty-eight and was starting a new life with the man who was so obviously the love of her life.
After the first day of throwing up, before I had begun running a fever, I had gotten a test kit from Sarah’s pharmacy. Sarah, bless her, knew everyone and everything in this town but had acted as if my buying pregnancy test kits was an everyday matter.
Deep down, I knew that buying that kit wasn’t just a safety measure but a hopeful one, too. I might have been numb all this time, but my heart was awake.
The test had been negative.
I should have been relieved.
When I got back home from the wedding that evening, barefoot, because I had taken my high-heeled pumps off as soon as I’d reached the entrance to my building, the first thing I noticed, after throwing the shoes on the floor next to the console, was the two new Frank and Estelle on the coffee table.
My hand shot up to cover my mouth.
I rushed to them on sore feet and felt the leaves between my fingers, caressing them as if they were him.
I looked around me, searching for more evidence of him being here or him being gone.
My bed was made, and the dishes were done. And on the kitchen counter, I saw it. The macchinetta I had packed in his bag. He had brought it back up. A white note shined from under it.
“Your guests will thank me.”
I had never cried and laughed at the same time. Another first for me.
My heart sored and soared at the same time. Angelo was right; though I was older,hemade me experience new things in life.
Two stacks of papers lay on my pillow. The signed contracts. My copy was on top, carrying our two signatures. The bottom stack was Angelo’s. Its last page was left askew so I’d see that he’d signed it.
I looked at his signature. I had seen it before, but now it tore at me.
That’s what you wanted, June. Only, it wasn’t what I wanted; it was what I thought was the right, rational thing.
All I had to do was add my signature next to his and send both copies to the lawyer.
I bit my upper lip and looked away. I could do it. I neverneededany man.
Until Angelo Marchesi.
I lifted the page from beneath the other papers. A yellow Post-It was attached to the line I was supposed to sign on, with three words in Angelo’s handwriting:
“I choose you.”
36
Angelo
“You didn’t answer my texts, so I figured I hurt you. I went to see Jerry because I thought you left the country. He said he took care of it and tried to be cryptic about it, but I know how to make someone like Jerry spill the beans. You’remarried?”
