I was somewhat still under the spell ofI don’t care anymorethat had veiled me in the last few days, so I was about to tell my sons the truth, but June had saved me from making that mistake.
“Really? Mom! Cool! Though I never figured you as the pool house type,” Lennox said. “Vi would have been proud of you. She said you need to live more.”
“She did?” I asked.
“She did the last Christmas she was with us.”
That would make it the year before last, because this past Christmas, Vi hadn’t been feeling good enough to join us. I had brought her home-cooked goodies after.
“Stephanie is gonna love this!” Will said enthusiastically. Then, as if realizing again that I had just come out of a funeral, he added in a gentler tone, “She can’t wait to meet you, Mom.Ican’t wait. Two more days.”
June gave me a tight-lipped smile when we ended the call. She was echoing my feeling—that instead of purely enjoying the prospect of seeing my kids and meeting my son’s probably-soon-to-be-fiancée, I was suffering under a mix of happiness and trepidation.
“Thank you for the flowers,” I texted Oliver before joining the minibus that took us to Sandy Hills for the cake Vi had asked for. “She would have loved them.” She would have lovedyou, I didn’t add; she had the proverbial tee-shirt about men like you. “You could have stayed. There were people there who would have been happy to see you.”
“I didn’t want to put you in a position where you had to explain what I was doing there. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Oh, yes, Vi had been right. He was just the type to reach into my chest and caress my heart like no one ever had.
I took a deep breath and typed the long text that explained that I needed to use the pool house once again and the reason why.
“It’s yours. Always has been,” was all he typed back.
And I’m yours, despite myself, despite you,and always have been, I didn’t add after the “Thank you,” that I did send.
Chapter 24
Oliver
“Don’t leave yet,” she had asked. I wouldn’t, not yet, though I couldn’t survive loving her any more than I already had and then let her go. And I knew that I would keel-over in love with her if I saw her with her children.
For their sakes, for hers, and because I believed in her, I was still planning on getting her to take me up on my offer and turn this house into a business. Her business, her home.
Chapter 25
January
Pretty did me the grace of actually starting that morning. Knowing that the boys would only get to Wayford toward noon, I brought with me groceries, clean beddings, clothes, a few framed pictures, and books that I could scatter around in the pool house to make it look like I was living there. My plan was to have the twins share one bedroom, give Stephanie the half-room, while I would sleep on the couch in the small space that was the living room, kitchen, and dining area combined. It wouldn’t be much different than what I had at June’s.
I dreaded the lie I was about to feed my kids.
I dreaded meeting Oliver.
He had embedded himself into my heart and body long ago, and the effect had remained until now, years later. So, the fresh memories were still throbbing—in my heart, in my soul, between my thighs.
Unburdening myself in Oliver’s arms that night had one clear effect—the tears I had shed in the last days had an address—not my entire being, life mistakes, and current situation, but Vi’s forever absence. I wasn’t crying for myself anymore. I could now focus on my sons’ needs, wear the much-needed smile for the residents at the nursing home, and target my tears where they belonged.
Being a half-guest, half-free-lodger, I entered through the back gate. Though my palms became clammy at the thought of facing Oliver, I was relieved to find the alarm was down when I tried to punch in the code. It meant that he was there and hadn’t left yet.
As soon as I closed the gate behind me and turned toward the garden that separated the house from the cabana, I froze. My hand threw itself up to cover my mouth, bewitched by the beauty in front of me. And by the thoughtful deed behind it.
The pool was full.
Brimming calmly and shining blue, it reflected the ocean that glimmered not too far ahead.
Purple flowers for Vi and a blue pool for my kids. And the man who had once carried purple and blue bruises on his body, and still carried them on his soul, had done all this.
Oliforever.
