What had he called it? A transaction?
My phone kept buzzing in my pocket. Dane, probably, trying to explain. Trying to smooth things over with more lies.
I didn’t look at it. I didn’t want to hear whatever bullshit he had for me.
He clearly saw me as some naive little country bumpkin he could manipulate and use. And it was my fault. I let him do it. I let him get away with exactly that.
By the time I got back to my apartment, I managed to stop crying, but my face was blotchy and my eyes were swollen.
Abby was in the kitchen making coffee. She took one look at me and set down her mug. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Dane was busy. We couldn’t do the market.” I forced a smile. “But I’m free now if you want to go?”
“Ina, you are so full of shit and a really terrible liar.”
“Please. Please can we just go to the market? I don’t want to talk about it.”
She sighed and finally nodded. “Okay. Market. Talking optional.”
We walked to the farmers market in Union Square, and I tried to focus on the stalls—fresh bread, early spring vegetables, flowers that cost too much but smelled incredible. Abby bought cheese and I bought coffee beans. I pretended everything was normal until I couldn’t pretend anymore.
“Would it be crazy to just call this a wash and move back to Wyoming?” I asked.
Abby went very still. “What? Just like that?”
“I mean, I took a risk moving here. It didn’t work out. That’s fine. I can go home, find a job and just start over. I took my shot. I made some memories.”
“Ina Lavin, if you move back to Wyoming, I will never forgive you.” Her voice was intense. “You came to New York to find your life. To find something bigger than your small town could offer.And yeah, things got complicated with Dane. But you don’t run away from complicated. You figure it out.”
“What if there’s nothing to figure out? What if it was all just a silly girl caught up in the fantasy?” My voice cracked. “What if I imagined everything?”
“You imagined nothing. Screw Dane. He’s an asshole. I hate to break it to you, country girl, but there are a lot of them in the world. You’re in a city with a massive population, which means a lot of assholes. Trust me, I’ve had my fair share and I know there will be many more. But for every asshole, there’s a good guy. You just have to wade through the bullshit to get to the good stuff.”
I groaned. “I don’t know if I can survive that long. I’m not built for heartbreak.”
“No one is. That’s what ice cream and sad movies are for.”
I frowned at her. “That is something my dad would say.”
“Hey, heartbreak made Taylor Swift very, very rich. If she can get her heart shattered a million times, you can handle one or two.”
“Easier said than done.”
The weekend passed in a blur of Netflix and ice cream and Abby forcing me to eat actual food at regular intervals. I didn’t manage to write any best-selling pop songs about how men will let you down.
Speaking of disappointing men, Dane texted and called, but I ignored them all. I needed to shake him off. Not that I could really break away from him when I had to sit ten feet away from him, but I was taking the weekend to detox from the spell he had put me under.
I was still trying to figure out how I could sit at that desk outside his office and answer his calls and schedule his meetings and pretend Friday night hadn’t happened. Abby told me I would be fine, but I really felt like I was different. I wasn’t thekind of person that could fall in love and then pretend it never happened.
Sunday evening, I was lying on the couch scrolling through job listings when I checked my email. I had one from Cupid’s Arrow.
The subject line indicated they found me a match. Why were they looking? Was my profile live?
I almost deleted it without reading, but curiosity got the better of me.
Congratulations! Based on your profile and preferences, we’ve found one exceptional match!
I clicked to see the profile and immediately felt sick to my stomach.
