“Makes things worse,” he says, and I nod.
“Yeah.”
“I get that.”
I study Damien as he blinks against the sun, his eyes narrowing as sweat drips from his brow. At the same time, I wipe my own forehead with the back of my wrist. Damien’s eyes dart down to me.
“Are you doing alright?” he asks.
I nod and take a sip of my water bottle, finishing it off.
“I can grab us some more waters while you wait for Luca,” he says.
“Thanks,” I smile back at him, and Damien threads through the crowd into the hotel. For a moment, I just stand there. This version of him is so different. Last night felt like a dream, and when I woke up, I was sure I would be back in my own bed, probably hungover. But none of that happened. This is real, and I don’t know what to make of it. Of him. All I know is I’m even more drawn to him now than before.
Commotion behind me jerks my attention back to the bouncy house. The line for the water slide has gotten longer, and kids are getting impatient. My eyes dart around, but I don’t see Luca. I take a few steps in that direction, searching frantically for him.
“Luca?” I call out. Meanwhile, I start walking faster. None of the kids are coming down the slide, and there’s a crowd of them at the top. If he’s in that mess, he’s most likely having a panic attack. “Luca!”
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Damien suddenly appears next to me with several water bottles.
“I don’t know where Luca is, and the bouncy castle is a little chaotic,” I answer as I try to see around people. All of the other parents just look irritated.
“Someone’s holding up the line,” one of them grumbles.
“Out of the way,” Damien snaps before pulling me through the crowd to the foot of the slide. Then he points. “There. Luca is at the top.”
Sure enough, he’s sitting at the head of the slide, blocking the way for the other kids. He has his hands over his ears, and he’s rocking. Anytime any of the other kids come near him, he yells at them.
“Shit,” I say. Then I call out to him. “Luca! Luca, honey, come down the slide! You can get away from everyone else if you come down the slide. Baby? Baby, look at me. You need to come down the slide.”
But Luca can’t hear me. He’s too stuck in the chaos of the other kids taunting him and getting too close.
“Luca!” I shout. Then I turn to Damien. “He’s having a panic attack.” With that, I head over to the stairs of the castle in an attempt to get through the line of kids. But out of my periphery, I see Damien climbing up the slide. I don’t know how he makes it with the water pouring down, but he does. Three wide strides later, he’s at the top, crouching down in front of Luca. I’m practically holding my breath as I watch him. He’s close enough to shut the noise out but still giving him space.
Maybe he really does know…
Then he makes a motion between his eyes and Luca’s. A moment later, Luca nods. Slowly, he pulls his hands away from his ears and then hesitantly reaches for Damien. Damien turns him around, pulls him onto his lap, holding him as they both slide down.
I catch Luca at the bottom and lift him into my arms. Damien stands up and puts one hand on my back and the other on Luca.
“I don’t want to be here anymore,” Luca cries.
“Okay, baby, I’m sorry,” I hush him.
“I have an idea,” Damien says.
We go inside one of the hotels, and Damien leads us around the corner where the room opens up to a giant fish tank. The airis cold, and my nerves begin to calm. I give Luca a sip of water and brush the hair from his face.
“Can I look at the fish?” he asks, and I nod.
Damien and I sit at a table nearby while Luca’s mind gets lost in the fish tank.
“He’s always had anxiety,” I tell him. “I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.”
“How could that be your fault?” Damien asks.
“Oh I don’t know. Being a single mom, always worried I wasn’t doing enough. Always scraping because I was alone trying to figure it out.”
