“Take the job, El. You never know where it could lead.”
Luca and I go home after ice cream, and I rummage through the pantry while he heads to the living room to turn on cartoons. A responsible mom would have skipped the ice cream and got a few things for dinner at the grocery store. Or at the very leastswung through a drive-thru. But I’m a glutton for these things, and once in a while, the “I can do all the everything” mask slips, and I make bad choices for the sake of instant gratification.
Maybe it’s just the longing for feeling good. To be a mom who can give her kid anything he wants. Who doesn’t have to say no to treats in the checkout line and doesn’t buy all his clothes either on clearance or at secondhand stores.
Speaking of masks, my mind drifts back to that night. I fill a pot with water for pasta that I’ll probably just add garlic and butter to and a little shaker parmesan and pretend it’s a well-rounded meal, and my thoughts flash to six years ago. To the night at the hotel when my heart was broken, my mascara was running and a masked man whisked me away. I was a princess for an evening. I was desired for an evening.I was devoured for an evening.That man made me feel things I’ve never felt. He consumed me, body and soul. He’s also Luca’s father, a secret nobody knows. I’ve kept it hidden because, for one, no one would believe me. Two, no one would approve, and three…I don’t know who that man was. But judging by his status, he has no interest in being the father of my child.
So I do it alone, and I keep those memories for the nights I feel especially alone. But my God, that man was stellar in the sheets! A thief of my composure. The way he took and gave all in the same motion…it felt like I was losing my virginity for the second time. And not a kid at a college party.
“Mommy, Netflix isn’t working,” Luca’s voice rips me out of the daydream, and I nearly drop the pot on the stove.
“I’ll check it in a minute,” I say. But as I turn the knob on the burner, nothing happens. And before my brow can even furrow in confusion, the lights flicker once, twice and the house goes dark.
“Mommy!” Luca cries out.
“I know, sweetheart, it’s okay,” I say, using my cell phone light to make my way into the living room where Luca is balled up on the couch.
“I don’t like the dark,” he says.
“I know,” I tell him.
“When is it going to come back on?” he asks.
When I pay the electric bill.
“I don’t know. How about we light some candles and make some peanut butter and jellies and have a camp out in the living room!”
Luca thinks about that before nodding. “Okay. But we’re going to need all my stuffed animals. They’re scared of the dark, too.”
Luca rummages around for a flashlight and runs down the hall. At the same time, tears run down my cheeks.
As a single mom, I spend a lot of my time at the end of the line. But right now, I truly have no idea what I’m going to do. While I watch Luca construct a pillow fort in the living room, I open the email from Redwood with the job offer.
As I read through it, the pit in my stomach grows. There’s no way. Even though I am sitting in the dark with my child, who is making the best of a shit situation, there is no fucking way I can accept a job of this nature.
Then I see a clause in bold letters in the offer and my heart stops altogether.
Sign-on bonus $25,000 with 6-month obligatory employment.
I blink twice, wondering if I read that right. But the words are there, clear as day, and the email is signed by Damien Graves himself.
Six months. I would have to agree to all the terms of the job…for six months. The salary is enough to pay all my bills andlive very, very comfortably. And the sign-on bonus…could help Rachel.
I drag my attention over to Luca who is cradling one of his stuffies in his arms.
“It’s okay, Mr. Panda. The lights will come back on soon. Mommy will take care of everything. She always does.”
I take in a quick breath. And with a racing heart, I reply to the email.
Here goes…well…everything.
Chapter 7
Damien
“Well, if it isn’t judgement day,” Diego steps into my office bright and early. Actually, it’s not even bright. I got here before the sun came up in hopes that I could get some things situated before my new assistant came in for her first day. Toss that hope in the toilet and flush it away.
“Did you run every red light in the city just to give me shit?” I ask as I turn the blinds. Las Vegas is a never-sleeping city, which means it’s always bright as day, but dusk does seem to be the quietest time. Everyone is too hungover to make a ruckus.
