I take the ring and put it on my thumb. Its familiar weight comforts me. “I hate that you had to marry someone else in order to come back for me,” I say because I have to. “I can’t agree to this without saying that out loud again. And I might repeat that for the rest of our lives.”
“I understand. And I hate that the galaxy requires a law to recognize humans as equals,” Rafe replies. “The galaxy is messy and complicated,but I’m not going to give up. Not on humanity or on you. All I ask is that you don’t give up on us, Eve.”
“We can’t promise you anything sanitized. Life doesn’t work that way, nothing is clean or easy, but we love you, in our way. I hope that that is enough?” Lorian says.
I look into their silver eyes and then touch their grey faces, trying to memorize this moment forever. “Yes…Yes. I’ll come with you my broken men and I’ll marry you, even if I have to live only on the Spire for the next ten years.” And then I think about the humans I might bring into the galaxy and hope that the people who love UFOs actually want to live with aliens. I truly will be the Devil’s handmaiden, and not by ignorance either.
As I read through the documents again, I realize this IGC decision may close a chapter of my life, my pet life. But it doesn’t open all the cage doors of the other human pets in the galaxy. And I will still be the example, be the first.
I take a deep breath and silently ask myself:
Am I up to this new challenge?
As we enter the Celestial Spire, I’m overwhelmed both emotionally and physically. And for a moment, my mind splits in two—the pet that Alba made of me, and the equal woman who now walks between with Rafe and Lorian. I remember being both here.
Both proud and ashamed.
Unbidden, I think about her. Their ex. wife Zira. I think about her walking these halls with them and jealousy overwhelms me.
As if reading my mind, Rafe says, “It was never a real marriage. I can show you the medical reports to prove it.”
“I don’t want to see them,” I say, trying to be proud, but knowing I will probably ask Dr. Veil to see them in a weak moment. And despitetrying to be strong, I can’t block out the voice inside my head that whispers to me that this is an illusion.Men like Rafe and Lorian don’t love women like me.Orphans from Earth.
And that’s when my knees give out.
What if this is all too good to be true?
My thoughts are spiraling.
Lorian reaches for me, but I flinch, not meaning to. His grey hand freezes in midair. “I don’t need to be forgiven. Only to be believed, Eve. We never touched her.”
And that’s what breaks me—the truth beneath his words, beneath both of their words. They didn’t betray me. But what happened here and on Alba did, and what happened in my childhood did, and all those experiences are still living inside of me, making every victory feel like a trap that I’m naive enough to fall for. Making me feel like I don’t belong here, that I’m back on that stationary bus, living a life I have no say in because I am not competent to make decisions for myself.
I close my eyes and shake my head violently to clear my thoughts.
These men have sacrificed for me. They have changed a galactic law for me. One of them has killed for me. I have to find the strength to believe in myself and throw off these lies inside my head that are trying to drown me.
I am not an NPC.
I am the main character in my own story.
And I am seen here. Even as a pet, I was still seen.
I was never forgotten.
As if sensing my internal struggle, Rafe gently takes my hand, and Lorian takes the other. “Walk between us as our equal. Claim your rightful place, Eve.”
And as strange as it is, it’s comforting to be led like this, with both of them holding my hands. Something two years ago I would have never wanted. I would have thought it made me look weak. But now I realize, I’m not weak for relying on them. I’m stronger. We are all stronger together. And it clicks, they need me between them just as much as I need them to flank me. I belong here. This isn’t a favor they’re doing me.
And I hate to admit it, but Gai was right. I am stronger. But I will be damned if I ever tell him.
PART VI
FREEDOM REDEFINED
76
THE PUBLIC WEDDING, LORIAN
