“Are you androids or people? A man can create machines, but not give birth to life.”
“What do you want if not atonement?”she asks.
“Kneel.” I retrieve the ceremonial whip and show it to her.
She drops gracefully, assuming the penitent's position. Her back is gorgeous and unmarked, except for Rafe’s and mine tattoos, marking her as our prisoner. I take aim and then strike. The first strike is gentle, just enough to wake the nerves. She gasps but doesn't cry out. The second is harder. By the fifth, she's shaking. By the tenth, tears are streamingdown her beautiful face.
"Confess; tell the goddesses your sins and desires.”
"I shouldn't love you… my slave owners, but I do. You’re terrible men, but I choose to stay with you.”
Another strike. "More."
"Not only do I love you when I’m awake, but when I’m asleep. I dream about you both, and I touch myself."
The whip cracks again. "What else?"
"I would do it all over again. I would save more humans, and I want you to hurt me for what I’ve felt and done here. For lying about the humans being willing participants, for accepting your job, for being greedy, for lying. But still I would do it all again to be here right now.”
“Even if it means you will always be ours.” I hold the whip, waiting for her answer.
“Yes.”
I breathe heavy and close my eyes. I let my hands fall to my sides, then I raise my wrist and whip her again. “Atone, Eve. Atone.”
“I’ve nothing else to say, Lorian!”
“There’s more!” I say, continuing to whip her.
“I want you to hurt me until I stop caring about my shame,” she cries. “I want nothing left but sensation. I want to feel… nothing. I want to be as empty inside as everyone in this fucking galaxy thinks I ought to be because I was born human.”
I set aside the whip, kneel behind her, and breathe quietly against her neck.She smells intoxicating. Her fear and arousal mixed together. The minutes pass and then I ask in a whisper, “Tell me what you want.”
"I want the goddesses to make me into something that can bear this. Something that can be property by day and person by night without going insane.”
"Do you think you're really going insane?"
"Aren't I? Aren’t you?Loving my captors? Loving your slave? It’s not right. You know that.”
I choose not to answer her.
“I feel things, Lorian. I’m not without a heart or soul. You know I’m not.”
I stare at her as if her eyes are going to reveal something to me I haven’t already seen.
Then, she slaps me hard, and the holographic goddesses all turn to witness it.
I move around and kiss her in reply, tasting tears, and she responds with desperate hunger.
"Stand," I order when we break apart. "Arms up. I’m not convinced you do have a soul. We aren’t done here."
Her mouth opens, but no words come out for a second. Then she says, “I have a soul, Lorian. You know I do.” Her voice reveals her desperation for my acknowledgment. Then, under her breath I hear, “You can be such a fucking bastard.”
I let that slide and say, “I’m not convinced you do have a soul.” Then, I take her wrists and attach them to a chain above us. “What do you think the goddesses see when they look at you?”
"An alien living among their people."
I trail my fingers along her ribs, feeling her shiver. "They see a human woman discovering who she really is."
