I can’t breathe.
Lorian puts his large hand on the small of my back and says something to me I can’t understand. I get the gist of it though, you chose this punishment, now, get on with it.
I try to put one foot in front of the other, but I find it’s difficult to keep up with their pace. I know what I did, and I would do it again, butthisshame. I have never felt anything like it. The last thing I want to do is to be seen like this by my ex. colleagues. This was the first place that I ever mattered to anyone, and had any real status, and now I am lowest of the low.
Some always saw you this way,the Devil whispers,maybe your equality was always an illusion.
Rafe pulls the leashtaut when I slow.
No,I answer the Devil in my mind.My equality here was never an illusion.
As we pass through the Grand Lobby, I see the desk where I used to work. Where I used to be an equal with proper clothing, and again, I wonder:how will I maintain my sanity like this?
The Grand Lobby is bustling with activity when we enter, but conversations die as the Sovereigns lead me around as their human pet. Everyone crowds around me, and wants to see the human-terrorist-turned-human-pet. I catch my name in their incomprehensible words, and I can imagine what they’re saying about me, none of it good.
I want to die of shame.
Rae appears, andher perfect face is twisted in what's clearly satisfaction. She bows to the Sovereigns, then says something directly to me. When I don't respond, she laughs and reaches out her hand and runs it roughly between my legs, her fingers pressing against my pubic bone through the dress's open side.
I freeze. The violation is so casual and so public. She's touching me as if I'm an animal to be petted. Then, she says something else to the crowd of guests and former colleagues gathered around us, and several people laugh.
I do take note that not all of my former colleagues laugh.
But it still hurts, all the same.
But I won't cry. I won't give Rae the satisfaction.
However, when she moves her hand up my body, and tries to pull on one of my nipple piercings, I lose control and spit in her face. I know it does me no good to act like an animal when I am collared and being led around on a leash, but without words, what else can I do to defend myself?
Rafe yanks hard on my leash to move me away from Rae just before she tries to slap me.
Then, Lorian steps between us. I don’t know what he’s saying to Rae,but she steps back, although she still has a smug look on her face, and I wish I could punch her.
I pull against my collar and try to get around Lorian to attack Rae.
Lorian puts his arm out and easily holds me back.
“Let me at her,” I say, even though, I can’t understand what anyone else is saying around me.
Rae stares at me and says more incomprehensible words, which cause some to laugh at me again.
Lorian says something, trying to calm the situation, I imagine.
Then, I see Lira pushing through the crowd, her voice rising sharply. She and Rae exchange what's clearly heated words. Then, Lira turns to the Sovereigns, bows, and speaks rapidly in incomprehensible words, gesturing to me.
They nod.
Lira, my lovely friend, approaches me carefully, as if I might bolt orbite. Her hands are gentle when she takes mine, and her familiar voice is soft and earnest. She's trying so hard to communicate something important, but it's all meaningless noise to me. She squeezes my hands, and her green eyes meet mine in earnest.
I stare at her helplessly. Is she offering me comfort? Making plans? The frustration of not knowing brings tears to my eyes despite my resolve.
She hugs me, and this, at least, needs no translation. I cling to her, desperate for this simple physical contact that says, "You're okay, my friend.”
When she finally releases me, I see the glimmer of tears in her eyes, and then when she wipes my face, I realize I’m crying as well.
How am I ever going to survive this? Every day I cannot speak their language, I will be seen as more of an animal than someone worthy of equality.
Without a word or a warning, Lorian lifts me into his arms.
