But Nico is right. I hate to admit it, but I can barely make it to the bathroom alone. If the address Nico has leads to Austin, I wouldn’t be able to kill him how I want. When I catch that motherfucker, I want to rip him apart, piece by piece. I’m still in a cast, my chest hurts, and I can’t walk without limping. I’d only get in the way. When I catch up to Austin, I want to be at my best so I can make it hurt for him.
I want to see his face when he realizes that the same man that killed his father will kill him as well.
I hate that Nico is right.
Sighing, I squeeze his hand and say, “There’s no need to regret anything. If not for you, I probably would still bedown there. Because of you, I was able to clear my mind and figure out how to free myself. Your annoying-ass voice was in my head, telling me not to give up.”
Nico barks a laugh and I smile, but cover it quickly. I’m not confident in my smile with my chipped tooth. As soon as I can, I’m going straight to a dentist to get the best dental care I can afford.
He gently rubs my cheek, which isn’t as black and blue as it was before, the bruising fading to a sickly yellow. “My voice is sexy as fuck, and you know it.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” In a voice I hardly recognize, I say, “I don’t want to be alone, Nico.”
Leaning forward, he kisses me gently. “You won’t be. You won’t be left alone again until you can take care of yourself.”
I scoff, carefully crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t like being this weak. It fucking sucks.”
“You’re not weak. You survived something not many of us could. I don’t give a fuck how strong I think I am, there’s no way I would have been able to dislocate my own thumb.”
“You would have found a smarter way to get out of those cuffs,” I mutter. I’ve constantly thought about what a terrible choice that was, especially since our doctor told me I might not get feeling back in that part of my hand, since the tendon and muscle were so damaged.
Nico shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I would have. You’re smarter than me, Declan. I knew you were. After you move past your anger, you actually have some brains up there.”
I snort a laugh. “Fuck off, Nico.” Sighing, I adjust myself against the pillows, hissing when pain shoots through me. The doctor said my ribs will probably hurt for months, though the pain will dull over time. Right now, they smart with every movement. “If you’re going, then go. But hurry back. Send Manuel in so he can stare at me like a creeper.”
Manuel reminds me a lot of both Nico and Hendrix—tall, imposing, takes no shit, but super chill. We’ve had run-ins when the families are together and he’s probably one of the only St. Clairs I’ve liked right off. If anyone has to sit with me, I’d prefer it be him.
“While Manuel would want nothing more,” Nico says and kisses me on the forehead, “it’s not him that will be watching you like a hawk.” He bends so he can meet my eyes. “I love you. I’ll be back soon.”
My heart flutters, just like it does every time Nico says those three little words. I never thought anyone besides my family would feel that emotion toward me. It fills me with all kinds of mushy feelings I can’t describe.
“Love you too. Be careful. Make sure your safety is off and you have extra clips.”
“Always.” He gives me one more kiss and moves to the other side of the room. He pulls out his guns, checks the clips, then puts them in his holster. Then he slips his suit jacket on, hiding his hardware.
It’s so fucking sexy to see how competent he is with his weapons.
Before he leaves, he kisses me one more time, then breezes out of the room.
A second later, Carter steps into the doorway, barely able to meet my eyes.
Since I got to the cabin, Carter has only been here a few times to check on me. It hurts that my brother isn’t around. If it weren’t for Nico giving me updates on everything going on, I wouldn’t know shit, since my brother hasn’t been by to fill me in.
“Hey,” he says, voice rough.
“Hey.” We’re silent for a few uncomfortable minutes. Carter looks everywhere but at me. “Where you been, Car?” I sound petulant, but he’s my brother. Even if he didn’t staylong or deferred to Nico for my care, he should have been here.
“Around. Looking for Austin.”
I grunt and adjust myself on the bed so I can see him better, but I wince when my cast hits my ribs. It’s so hard to remember I can’t move how I want without pain.
Concern leaps in Carter’s eyes and he takes a step forward, hand outstretched, but drops it almost immediately. “You okay?”
I give him a droll look. “Let me check. I have six broken ribs, a dislocated elbow, fucking plates in my eye socket, one missing finger, a dislocated thumb with torn tendons, and I’m missing some teeth. But I think I’m good. You okay?”
Carter flinches and leans back on the door again, his face pale and pain clouding his eyes. “Fuck, D. I’m so sorry.” A broken sob leaves his lips and he slides down to the floor. “I shouldn’t have…I should…fuck, I don’t even know. I feel like this is my fault.”
I tick up a curious eyebrow. “What? How?”
