I just hope there’s some of me left when I do.
CHAPTER 23
NICO
“Where are those two jackasses that were supposed to watch out for my brother?” Carter asks in a measured tone that anyone who’s spent time with him would recognize as him trying to keep his temper under control.
After I woke up in the hospital, I immediately called Kai and Carter and told them that Declan was missing and I needed to be picked up. Carter assembled pretty much every man from both families to scour every street of Jersey while Kai came to pick me up and pepper me with questions. I answered them all honestly, even though I knew Declan probably wouldn’t want me to. But if it gets me close to finding him, he can be pissed.
“In the hall,” Gavin says. “They’re the last ones to see Declan before he left for the day.”
Through clenched teeth, Carter says, “Bring them in here. Now.”
Kai steps closer to Carter, squeezing his arm.
Their closeness, how effortlessly Kai has his husband’s back makes my heart clench. Declan and I didn’t get a chanceto get that far. I think he was just coming around to admitting he might actually like me.
What happens if I miss my chance to tell him how I feel?
Nope. No. I won’t think that. I won’t kill Declan off in my head. He’s out there, somewhere, waiting for me to come get him back.
Iwillget him back.
As I stand in Carter’s office, suffering under his dirty looks, I rack my brain on who could have it out for Declan. But like he told me weeks ago, there are too many instances to narrow down. Since Carter and Kai got married, there are several times I can think of for why both Whitlocks and St. Claires would be pissed off at him. Not enough to blackmail him, and certainly not enough to kidnap him, but enough for someone to want to knock him into next week.
What am I missing? The answer feels like it’s right in front of me, but I can’t think past the pain in my heart that I let someone take Declan from me.
It’s been fifteen hours, but it might as well be fifteen years with how hollow I feel. I haven’t been able to eat, sleep, or think straight since I saw him get tossed into the back of that fucking serial killer van.
Carter didn’t look pleased when I gave him the rundown on what Declan and I were trying to figure out and why we were out together. Since his brother was missing and he had other shit to worry about, he didn’t ask more questions than necessary, but his eyes told me he wanted to revisit the discussion.
It’s whatever. If we get Declan back, he can tell me as much as he wants how I’m not good enough for his brother, what with me being a lowly guard, but I don’t give a fuck. Declan is mine and I’m not giving him up, no matter what his dumbass brother says.
Gavin opens the door and signals to someone standing inthe hall. Since I told Carter and Kai that Declan was kidnapped, they upped their security. It’s a good call, but too little too fucking late to save my man.
The guards step inside, both looking ashamed of themselves. They’re both Whitlock men, so I’m sure they’re tearing themselves apart for losing one of their own.
The taller of the two steps toward Carter, his hands held up. “Boss, listen, I know we fucked up, but?—”
“Austin, if that ‘but’ ends with ‘it’s not my fault’ I will put a bullet through your fucking brain like Declan did your pops.”
Even though his face reddens, he lowers his head. “No, I was going to say we’ll do better. When we join the search.”
The other man nods vigorously. “There are other Whitlock men that are on the Westside. I know that area like the back of my?—”
“Shut the fuck up, Donny.” Donny’s mouth shuts with a snap. “I don’t want to hear about your fucking plans,” Carter seethes. “If I didn’t know my brother and that he hadn’t hired someone permanent to guard him yet, both of you would be floating in the fucking river right now.” Carter pulls in a deep breath and closes his eyes; his face etched in pain.
When he opens his eyes, his face blanks. “Since I know my brother,” his eyes flick over to me, but I keep my face impassive, “I know how he is. That’s the only reason you’re still alive. Tell me what went on, every single fucking detail, while you were on guard for him.”
Austin and Donny glance at each other, then Donny starts to describe the times they were on duty. They tell us about the time he saw Jadon in the cages, when there was a note left on Declan’s car, when they thought someone was following him in the grocery store—a time they didn’t tell Declan about.
“What did the person look like?” I ask quickly, causingevery head in the room to turn toward me. When no one answers, I say, “Any fucking minute now. Use your fucking mouths and tell me what the fuck the guy looked like.” When they continue to stare, I walk over to Donny and wrap my hands around his throat and push him against the wall. “Tell me what thefuckhe looked like. Now!”
I’ve told Declan so many times to think through his anger, but I can’t manage it myself right now. If there’s information, I need to fucking know, and this guy is keeping it from me.
Kai’s hand lands on my shoulder and it’s only because I know his touch that I don’t snap. “Give him a minute, Nico. Okay?”
I blow out a deep breath and let the man go, taking a few steps back. Fury like nothing I’ve ever felt before consumes me and I have to count backward from ten to even get my heart rate to slow.
