Reaching into one of the folds where I keep my most prized possession, I pull it out and show Nico the picture of me and my mom in the kitchen. She’s turned to the camera, her mouth open in mock surprise, but joy dancing in her eyes. Her face is free of makeup, and she looks like any of the moms on those old sitcoms. Happy, low key and hugging one of her kids.
I’m standing beside her, my arm around her waist and a big, goofy smile on my face. My outfit leaves a lot to be desired, but I remember begging her to let me wear it, since it was my favorite.
“She’s beautiful,” Nico says, “and you were a bit of a dork, huh?”
“Fuck off,” I say around a laugh. “It was the times! I grew out of that phase of having a whole matching outfit.”
“Thank all that’s holy.” He hands the picture back to meand I carefully place it back in my wallet. “You looked happy there.”
“I always was with her. She made me happy. Even when I was fucking off, doing shit I wasn’t supposed to, I was happy when she was around.”
“I’m sorry you lost her,” Nico says, wiping under my eyes again. I didn’t even realize tears were still falling.
“We all lost her, but I think I lost a part of me too.”
“Are you putting yourself back together?”
I turn so I can press my back into his chest and look up at the stars. I’ve never had this with anyone, this closeness, this contentment. I feel like if I were to die right now, I’d have no regrets.
Sighing, I nod and snuggle in closer. “I’m starting to.”
CHAPTER 21
NICO
Yesterday was pretty heavy for Declan. Talking about Hendrix, beginning to clean out his room, and telling me what happened with his mom, I think Declan was worn out. After a few minutes of him telling me about his mom, we went inside and Declan passed out almost immediately.
He was beautiful when he slept, his face relaxed and free of stress.
I want to give him more of that.
Kai leans against my door jamb as I get dressed. As I’m spraying on some cologne, he asks, “Where are y’all going?”
Carter is out with Gavin, so there is no chance of him overhearing. Even if he does, neither of us will use Declan’s name.
Even though I knew he’d keep his word, I’m glad Kai hasn’t even slipped up and said something to Carter. He and Declan are kinda working their shit out, but they still aren’t friends by any means, so Carter is none the wiser.
“Somewhere fun.” I look up at Kai with a grin. “Not like we can get an entire fair set up this late in the game.”
Kai ducks his head, a blush high on his cheeks. I give him shit for what Carter did for him, but it actually went a long way to showing me that Carter really loved him.
Kai mentioned offhandedly that he’d never been on a Ferris wheel while he and Carter were watching a movie. Carter decided to have a custom fair built just for his husband so he could have a night of his childhood he missed out on. Kai isn’t prone to gushing, but he gave me blow by blow updates as soon as he got back and for days after. He loved it.
I wish I could do something like that for Declan, but he’s more low-key than Kai and Carter. I just want to take him out for some fun so he can unwind.
“You have guards assigned to you two?” he asks.
I look up at him with a lifted brow. “I am a guard, Kai.” He rolls his eyes. “We’ll be fine. I think he’ll have some of his guys.”
Kai nods and pushes off the door. “You look nice. Have fun.” He steps closer, patting me on the arm. “I might not like the son of a bitch, but I see he makes you happy. I’m rooting for you two.”
“Don’t be mushy,” I say, pushing him away, though I can’t hide the smile that crops up.
Declan does make me happy, though he shouldn’t. He’s so grumpy, always scowling and cursing people out. There should be no reason the two of us work. But we do and I’m not going to question why. I could be killed tomorrow while I’m protecting Kai. I want to live my life without regrets, and I don’t regret my feelings for Declan.
After I grab my wallet, keys, and my phone, I tell Kai, “I’ll be back in the morning. Gavin has me covered and Declan made the schedule to make up for my absence.”
“Good deal. We’ll be good here. Don’t forget, Carter and Iknow how to take care of ourselves. We just keep you fuckers around for conversation.”
