Those are thoughts I had, but I never wanted my father to see me vulnerable. I don’t want to be one of those men with daddy issues, pissed at the world because my pops didn’t love me.
That’s the thing though, Dad always showed he loved me. He just never gave me the same instructions he gave Carter, not really equipping me for a lot. If I have to take over the family in Carter’s stead, I won’t have the same training he did and will probably fuck it up.
He continues. “I should have taught ya both the same.” He breathes a chuckle. “The regrets of an old man.”
I sit up, his last few words ringing in my head. “Dad, are you sick? Is something going on?”
He looks at me curiously, then laughs. “That sure sounded like a death declaration, huh? No, I was just thinking is all. I’m fine. Fit as a fucking fiddle. You ain’t gettin’ rid of me anytime soon, that’s for sure. I just wanted you to know, just in case. Not having my days consumed with working to keep our enemies at bay and making sure our businesses were profitable gives me time to reflect. I could have been better for you. But since Idohave so much time, I’d like to try. If you want.”
Why are my eyes stinging? Why is my throat so fucking tight?
All my life, I wanted Dad to give me the same thing he gave to Carter. A little more attention, a little more guidance, just a littlemore. I gave up wanting that, gave up wishing I could be in Carter’s shoes. Hardly something I’d get in my twenties. But here Dad is, giving me what I’ve always wanted.
For the third fucking time, I clear my throat anddiscreetly wipe under my eye. “Yeah, Dad. I’d like that.” To lighten the mood, I ask, “You sure you ain’t dying?”
“I’m sure, you little shit.” He comes around the desk and holds his arms out. I stand and step into his embrace, letting a few tears fall. “Love you, Declan.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I step back and wipe my face, feeling weak for letting my emotions show like this in front of my dad, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
He places a heavy hand on my shoulder. “I’ll get with the chief and ask him for any information about Jadon and his family. If your name comes up, he’ll let me know, alright?”
“Alright.”
“I’m glad you came to me, Deck. Weeks ago, you would have gone storming into the police station, demanding to talk to the chief to clear ya name. Now you’re using your brain. Just like I knew you could. Maybe youhavebeen listening.”
I have, but not to Dad or Carter. It’s all Nico. Like he told me when we were sparring, there are ways to be angry, but keep my mind clear. When it comes to the blackmailing shit, I’ve been more chill than I would have ordinarily been, but not because I haven’t wanted to figure it out. It’s because I wanted to figure it outandkeep my life in the process.
It’s no secret I’ve been reckless in the past, not caring if I lived or died. But that was because I didn’t have anything to live for. With Nico in my life? I don’t want to miss a day.
I’m in big fucking trouble.
It’s early evening by the time I leave Dad’s. Austin and Donny walk alongside me with their hands stuffed in their jackets.
When I’m sure the shit with Jadon is over, I’ll promote these two. They’ve earned it.
“I wanna go to the grocery store, then I’ll head home and y’all can have the night to yourselves.”
“Thanks, boss,” Austin says. “Which grocery store?” I tell him and he nods. “We’ll follow you there and walk a few paces behind you.”
“Good man,” I mutter as I climb into my car.
It only takes me about half an hour to get ingredients for dinner. After I’ve checked out and have my haul in my car, I text Nico.
Me: Can you stop by?
I pullout of the parking lot and head home, catching every single fucking red light on my way. Any other time, I’d be pissed, raging for no good reason. Now, I feel a minor annoyance but keep my displeasure to myself.
Goddamn Nico and his calm demeanor rubbing off on me.
When I’m at the light closest to my condo, my phone vibrates in the cup holder. I pick it up and a smile spreads across my face when I see Nico’s name on the screen.
Nico: It’s my night off. What time do you want me to come over?
Me: Now if you want.
Nico: Eager beaver. I like it.
