I told him not to catch feelings, but I need to listen to my own advice. I’ve been a dick to him, hoping he won’t get close to me, but I like when he’s around. I like when he looks at me, when he touches me, when he kisses me.
Fuck, do I really like Nico?
“Goddammit,” I hiss as I run my fingers through my hair. There’s no way I can be catching feelings for him when this started as us fucking. That’s all it’s supposed to be.
Fucking hell, I don’t know what I’ll do about any feelings I have for that fucker.
I shake my head as I exhale roughly. “Anyway, Nico is helping me figure shit out. As soon as I do, I’ll drop him. I swear.” Feelings be damned. “It’s been a long time since I tortured someone. That shit that happened with Cliff and his merry band of bitches wasn’t enough to satisfy me. But with Jadon, I plan to be at it all night. Then I’ll cut off his head and leave it for his widow, so she’ll know he ain’t coming back. I wish you were here to help me. Remember our first kill together? It’ll be like that, but worse.”
The first time Dad let us loose, we had body parts littered around the tiny garage he was holding the child molester he found in his ranks. He told us to do what we wanted with him, and we had a good fucking time tearing him apart. We even left the piece of shit a parting gift—his disgusting cock shoved down his throat. It was the kill I was most proud of. I don’t care about a lot of shit, but rape and crimes against kids are a no fucking go for me and I will rip someone to shreds if I hear about it.
What I plan to do to Jadon will make that kill look like child’s play.
“Nico is a lot like you,” I finally finish my thought. “He doesn’t want to fix me. He wants to help me.” I grumble, “As much as I don’t like to listen to him, he’s right sometimes. We’ll get to the bottom of this, for sure. I’ll report back to you when it’s all straight.” I pause for a moment, my throat tight. I have to swallow several times to push the words out. “I love you, Hen.”
While he was alive, I never uttered those words, though he knew I did. I always had his back and would do anythingfor him, the same as he would for me. Now I live with the regret that he never heard me say it. I can only hope my actions spoke for me and he knew I loved him.
I push the regret from my mind, turn on my heel and leave.
CHAPTER 16
NICO
The next week I get Gavin to cover for me again and make my way over to Jadon’s house to have a talk with him. At least I hope it’ll be a talk. If he says something I don’t like, I might let my Glock come out to play.
Jadon’s place was easy to find, nestled in a cookie cutter neighborhood where all the houses look like a nineteen fifties housewife will bring lemonade out to her husband as he trims the hedges.
The Whitlocks pay their employees well.
As I drive past the house, my Spidey-sense tingles. Something isn’t right. While the houses surrounding Jadon’s have lights on in a few windows, Jadon’s is bathed in darkness. I check the time on the dashboard of my car. 10:03 p.m. It’s late, what with him having a small child, but I’m sure the parents would still be milling about for another few minutes.
Something’s off, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it—especially if there’s even a chance Declan’s at risk. Kai’s the only one who’s ever been able to drag me into playing fucking investigator, but now I’m doing it for Declan too. Yeah, he gave me that bullshit about not catching feelings,but there’s something about the Whitlock man that makes me care about him more than I want to admit.
Taking a step back would be smart. It would protect my heart and keep me from making a fool of myself if he doesn’t care about me too. But no one ever accused me of being too smart when it comes to things I want.
And I want Declan. No matter what he says, he’s mine. As soon as we figure this shit out with Jadon, I plan to show him. He’ll be resistant initially, but I think I’m starting to get to him. The last time we were together, the day after we sparred last week, he kept telling me I had to leave and to put my clothes on, but he wrapped himself around me like a koala, not wanting to let me go. When I finally peeled myself from his arms, I caught an almost disappointed look on his face before he covered it with his usual scowl.
He might tell me not to catch feelings, but I think Declan is in this with me. But I can’t move too fast , I can’t spook him. If I do, he’ll pull away and ice me out until he’s over me.
But come on, there’s no getting over me. Declan will see that if he tries.
I don’t intend to let him try. I don’t intend to let him go. When he let me stick my dick in him, he gave me permission to claim him, no matter what he says.
Instead of turning around and pulling into Jadon’s driveway, I circle the block until I find a parking area in front of a playground and park there. I had worn all black to stay hidden until I got face-to-face with Jadon, but now I just need to stay out of sight of the neighbors while I check if some shit is out of whack.
Before I get out, I shoot Declan a text.
Me: I’m at Jadon’s. Something ain’t right.
He texts back almost immediately.
Declan: Like?
Me: No lights are on. Vibe feels off.
Declan: Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.
Instead of texting him back,I press call and put the phone to my ear.
