Hendrix told me I should try the whole relationship thing. “It’ll stop you from having to get tested every time you wanted to sink your dick into someone,” he joked, making me roll my eyes.
Is Nico the relationship type? Will he get tested if I ask him to, so I can fuck him until he blacks out?
I push that thought away. He and I were one and done. There will be no repeats, no getting tested, and no plowing him into the mattress.
I shift again, feeling the twinge in my ass, sharp and throbbing. Dammit, Nico. Every time I move, he won’t be far from my mind.
Clearing my throat, I answer my brother. “I’m good. What do you need me to do today? Negotiate or have your back?”
He glances at me for a few seconds too long since he’s going fucking seventy down the highway. “I need you to make the deal. But?—”
“Use my head, I got it,” I scoff as I look out the window.
“Hey,” Carter says in that gentle brotherly tone that fucking grinds my gears. “I’m not trying to bust your balls. This is a dangerous business and?—”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I ask, turning to glare at him. “Just like you, I grew up in this life, so I know the danger.” My rib throbs and my hand goes to my scar almost reflexively. “I know the risks. You don’t think I use my head because I don’t make the decisionsyouwould make. But have I brought down heat on this family so badly that we’re on the police’s radar?”
Carter peeks at me quickly and shakes his head.
I sit back in my seat and cross my arms. “Stop treating me like I’m gonna blow the lid off our family business. You and Dad need to trust me more.”
“We do, but?—”
I cut him off again. “You don’t. If you did, there wouldn’t be a ‘but.’”
We sit in an uncomfortable silence. I’m not willing to admit that sometimes I take shit too far to see what I can get away with and Carter won’t admit he doesn’t trust me to know when to pull back. We’re at an impasse and I’m not going to lose.
No matter what I do and how much I try to be what this family wants, they’re never happy. I might be what they call impulsive, but I get the fucking job done.
After ten minutes of quiet filling the car’s interior, Carter sighs. “Declan, listen. Idotrust you. I do,” he says when I make a derisive noise. “I worry, that’s all. You’re my baby brother and I love you. I don’t want to have to identify your body on a slab.”
I blow out a long breath. I understand where he’s coming from, but I’m a grown ass man. I can handle myself. After what happened when we were younger, I know he’s worried, but I’m not that kid anymore. What happened with mom won’t happen to me.
“Yeah, okay,” I mutter, staring out the window again.
He exhales. “How’s the casino? Everything good?”
Nodding, I say, “Yeah. Though I think something is going on with my cage manager.”
“What do you think?”
I shrug. “Not sure. Every time he sees me, he gets this guilty look on his face. Like I know his secret.”
“What do you think it is?”
“Couldn’t say honestly. I’m gonna keep an eye on him, though.”
Carter pulls up to a warehouse that’s owned by the Reyes family and glances at the rearview mirror to make sure our guys and product are behind us. “Be careful. You know how you are.”
With a growl, I say, “Don’t fucking lecture me, Carter. God damn, you don’t even give me the opportunity to fuck up before you bitch at meaboutfucking up. Fuck, give me a fucking minute to get it wrong before you lecture me about getting it wrong.”
Carter lowers his head and nods. “You’re right. Look, I’m under a shit load of pressure after what happened with the Fensters and then taking over as head of the family. Dad made it look easy, you know? I need you to be me.”
“But I’m not, Carter. I’ll never be you. The sooner you realize that the sooner you’ll realize that I’m not always fucking up. I just don’t do shit how you want me to do it.”
He nods. “I know. Like what happened with Sid.” I roll my eyes, ready for a lecture, but he surprises me when he says, “I would have done the same thing. We don’t tolerate disrespect and he had to be put down.” Carter places his hand on the back of my neck and rubs it in that way older brothers do that is meant to get under their siblings' skin. I push him off and Carter laughs. “You did good, little brother.”
In a more serious tone, he says, “I know you’re good at what you do. I’ll try to ease up on you, okay?”
