It’s the world’s smallest consolation prize for the world’s unluckiest man. It doesn’t stop me from holding onto the thought as I climb out of the car and let out a small curse.
“Trevor, seriously. It’s so cold up here.” My breath comes out in a puff, and I twist my head to look at him. “If it snows, it’s going to freeze over and?—”
“Would you shut the fuck up about it? We’re already here now.” He looks at me and jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “If you want to hike down the mountain, by all means. But these?” He holds his keys up and jingles them, then stuffs them into his pocket. “These are mine. Stop being so high-maintenance, Remington. It makes you ugly.”
Right. Of course.
I watch the metal disappear into the faux leather jacket he has on—even though Iboughthim a nice jacket for our anniversary last year—and he zips up the pocket like he’s putting me in time out or something.
He’s always treated me like a kid. Even when we were actually together.
Now we exist in this weird limbo where I broke up with him two weeks ago because he started yelling at me for volunteering to work extra over the holidays at the library. When he shoved me into the wall, I finally told him I wasdone.I should have left it at that—I’d been so proud of myself for sticking to the breakupfor more than a few days—but he told me he really, really wanted me to come up to this cabin with him for Christmas.
Trevor said it would be a night to remember, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to remember it until the day I die because that day is going to come soon.
On the wings of a storm cloud.
Above me, snow starts to fall.
I open my mouth, and his hand slaps over my lips hard enough that I feel the slight sting of my teeth cutting into the skin. It makes tears instantly prickle in my eyes.
“I swear to fucking God. Don’t. It’s just snow, Remington. I promise it’s not what you need to worry about.”
“Wefhat onds munos.” I mumble behind his fingers, tugging at his wrist.
He doesn’t even bother to ask what I said, just grabs me by the arm and tugs me inside to the raucous sound of laughter that I immediately recognize as the guys who are usually over at our apartment drunk and drugged out.
Great.
What he’d said reallydidsound ominous.
It’sobvious after half an hour that I was absolutely right about the situation. The second he walks in, Trevor grabs a beer from his friend Garth and shoves me into the corner near a tiny Christmas tree. It’s what he’s always done—made sure I was there tolook prettybut not get in the way. It’s one of the myriad of reasons we’ve broken up.
That and the way I can taste blood on my lower lip. He’s always been rough with me, though he’s only made me bleed these last few times. But now…
Now there’s dread brewing slowly in the pit of my stomach, and I don’t think it has anything to do with the snow outside.
Trevor is actingweird.Or… weirder than usual. The way he keeps leaning in and whispering things to his friends, the looks they keep giving me…
I want to leave.
I want to wait until Trevor gets drunk and take the keys to his car. The only thing I worry about is the way the snow is falling—it’s coming down in sheets of white that are starting to pile up on the windows. Even the fire they have going can’t make the storm outside lookcozy.Christmas songs are such a lie.
I think back to the bags of snacks and extra blankets I bought at the store that are piled up in the kitchen, and I wonder if I can just grab it all and lock myself in the bedroom. It’s obvious that Trevor doesn’t need me here—he’s partying with his friends.
He brought me because he likes to have something to show off, because he says I’m “almost as pretty as a girl.”
I don’t expect the sudden surge of shame that tears through me, but it’s there.
I came even though I knew better, and I’m being treated exactly the same way I always am. I have to start telling myself that I’m worthmorethan this. That’s what my coworker always tells me. Quill looks at me with his big green eyes full of empathy and just a little anger, and he demands I “stop letting assholes like Trevor walk all over me.”
He’s the sassiest librarian I’ve ever met in my life.
I finally take a deep breath and nod, trying to summon up the courage that lets Quill seem like he stands seven feet tall when he barely hits five-five, and I walk across the room. All of my bravery deflates like air leaving a punctured balloon when Trevor turns on me, his eyes narrowed and his expression ugly when he snaps at me. “What?”
You brought me up here because you said you wanted to spend time with me. I thought we were going to reconcile.
“I’m getting cold,” is what comes out of my mouth instead.
