Our closest ally to the north, Belladonna, next in line to be the High Priestess of the High Barrens Coven, had told us how the Fae King exterminated the witches, how they’d been hunted for centuries, until they finally went so far north, neither of the kings could reach them.
Even Anaria’s mother descended from a High Barrens witch bloodline…and these two had…
I closed my eyes. Blew out an unsteady breath.
Who was I to judge either of them, after all the blood I’d spilled?
Ryland had made the same bargain I had, albeit for a different master.
Or maybe the same master. “Did you ever meet theOracle?” I asked softly. “The old spider who served the Fae King, always whispering in his ear?”
“Once.” His voice was choked enough I pushed up on my elbows. “Only once. She came and visited me in the dungeons, shortly before I was released. That witch bound me, ensuring I could never leave Caladrius, never cross the border into Solarys again. Not without her blessing.” He carefully set my foot down in his lap and my heart lurched to a stop when he shrugged his jacket off.
His piercing gaze found mine, lips slightly parted as he paused, searching my face, as if looking for something he’d lost. Maybe something he’d found.
“I would have come for you, Lyrae,” he whispered. “We both would have come back to Blackcastle for you. But we couldn’t. Believe me, we tried, but the marks…every time we tried to cross through the ward between Caladrius and Solarys, we nearly died. And then, once the Oracle was gone…” He looked away, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
“You getting pinched was my fault. All of this…was my fucking fault. I was the one who accepted the Maldrake job, I was the one who got conned. A mistake I’m in the process of rectifying.”
His handsome face turned hard, something dark brewing in his eyes, something that looked a lot like vengeance.
“I should never have given up on you. But…I…after the war, after all those years, Var and I thought you were dead, Lyrae. And I couldn’t leave Caladrius to look for you.” He set my foot down, began rolling up his sleeve. “Maybe you’ll believe me if I show you…this.”
My heart began to pound as Ryland pushed his sleeve high enough for me to see the thin line of black etched onthe inside of his muscled forearm, and my insides twisted in horror, the kind of horror I thought I was done feeling.
“That’s her mark,” I whispered. “For the ones who served her.”
Even silhouetted against the fire, his face flushed red with shame—the same shame I felt whenever I looked at my own arm. That same glass-like anger at what she’d taken from me, and the willing part I’d played in my own demise.
All of that self-loathing bubbling beneath the surface like a poison left to putrefy for too long.
He dipped his head, yanking his sleeve down to hide the mark, two angry red spots burning in his cheeks. I leaned forward and cupped his face, thumbs rasping against his stubbled cheeks.
“Don’t be ashamed,” I murmured softly. “Not in front of me, do you understand?”
All of a sudden, I was so damned tired.
Worn down by too much anger and too many lies. I wanted to remember what it felt like to laugh again. To wake up like I was poised on the threshold of possibility, that the world wasn’t a dark, dangerous place, but an adventure meant to be lived.
“Do you know why I recognized your mark, Ryland?” I asked softly, reaching for my own sleeve, peeling back the wet fabric to reveal my own shame. “Because of this.” His breath caught as he stared at the hideous, raised scar. “I paid a mage to burn the black off, but even that didn’t free me. And then, after she was dead, I thought the mark would disappear, but it didn’t.”
These feelings were dangerous.
They went against every promise I’d ever made myself. And yet, every last piece of me wanted us to burn together, like fire and ice, the way we used to.
“Neither of us wereeverany good at this shit,” I murmured. “It’s hard, I think, to let go of the past, but…” Gods, I could barely push the words past my frozen lips.
“I would very much like to call a truce.Temporarily.”
“A truce?”
Ryland leaned back in the chair and tugged both my feet into his lap, wrapping those powerful hands around my ankles once more, deft fingers massaging my stiff ankles. “I can live with that, as long as you tell meeverything.” The green in his eyes glittered, like greed personified.
“I want to know every minute of every day since the last time I saw you.”
“None of it’s good, Ryland. None of it. And I’m not…” I swallowed hard. “I’m not proud of the things I’ve done.” I dragged my hands down my face. “The Oracle turned me into a monster, and because I hated you and Varian so much, I allowed her to.”
“And you think I am?” Ryland murmured with a sigh of recrimination I recognized all too well. “I’ve made decisions I never thought I’d make. Survival is an ugly business, and I’m…there was a time when I tried to protect you from that.”
