“Go find somewhere else to be,” I hissed.
“Oh, I’m fine right where I am,” he said smoothly, crossing his legs.
“You’re pissed I gave the queen the Triune?” Rooke looked genuinely confused, and Ryland leaned back, an almost-smile on his face. “That was the plan, Lyrae. Peace and solidarity with new Valarian. So tell me—where the fuck did I go wrong?”
“You went wrong by thinking you knew what I wanted. That my future as the commander of the armies was the only thing thatmattered.” My hands curled at my sides, my voice getting smaller and smaller, and I hated all of this. “As if I wasn’t…good enoughto stay here.With you.”
Rooke’s stillness went deeper, like a lake freezing over.
“Shit. I was only…” he said carefully, dragging a hand through his hair. “But youlovethis city. Tempeste is your home. You don’t want to leave.”
None of those sentences were questions, but the way he said them…
“No,youdon’t want me to leave—there’s a difference.” I pointed at him, finger trembling. “Not that you ever bothered asking me what I wanted. You took one look at me, one look at Tempeste, and assumed you already knew.”
Rooke’s voice dropped, rougher. “You think I don’t want you with me.”
Exhaustion washed through me.
The kind I used to feel after surviving another day in the trenches. Or in the Shadow King’s court, dragging myself back to my room, covered in blood.
The kind that made me want to curl up into a tight ball of misery, cover myself with a blanket, and shut the entire world out because everything hurt too damn much to look at.
Somehow, this felt worse and I definitely couldn’t look at Rooke anymore. Not with all that sincerity straining his voice and yearning making his eyes all soft and vulnerable.
Because that made me hurt even more.
“I think I’m going to bed. I think in the morning I want you gone, and I wish you the best of luck—honestly, I do. I meant everything I said today. You deserve to keep the Triune. I’m sorry you’re giving them up.”
I closed the door before he could say another word, but through the thick oak, I heard Ryland’s deep chuckle, and then?—
“Gods, you mucked that up but good. I think you’re the one sleeping on the couch tonight. Don’t you know justbecause she loves this place, she can’t love somewhere else just as much?”
I droppedinto the steaming tub, chest still burning in anger, spots dancing on the backs of my eyelids.
It had been a long time since I’d been this furious, and my foul temper—courtesy of Kaden Rooke—was totally ruining the first really good bath I’d had in weeks. I dumped some of the pink salts in, instantly surrounded by the scent of carnations.
Not helping.
The door opened and closed, then Ryland made a soft sound behind me—amusement or sympathy, I couldn’t tell. “Clearly, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to relationships. Maybe you should cut him some slack,” he murmured. “He was trying to do the right thing.”
“I can’t believe you’re defending him,” I dunked my hair in the water. “He begged Anaria to keep me here, Ryland. Begged her.”
“He was trying to do what he thought was best.” A sigh, then the scrape of a stool being dragged over, and then…
I moaned when Ryland’s strong fingers dug into my scalp, massaging my temples before he drizzled some jasmine-scented shampoo onto my hair and began working it to a thick lather.
“I missed that. Normally, I wouldn’t tell you this, but you have magic hands, Ryland.”
“There have been four occasions when you have said those exact words to me, though none of them involved mewashing your hair. Would you like me to list them? First was that time when we…”
“I get the picture.” I cut him off, cheeks burning. “And we’re not talking about that night again.” I tipped my head back further into his touch. “Ever.”
“If you say so. Best night of my life. So far, that is. You, me, enough oil to…”
“Ryland, I am not fucking kidding.” I gripped the edges of the tub. “For the love of the gods,stop talking.”
“Okay,” he said easily, working his way down the back of my neck to my shoulders, working out knots and tension like it was his purpose in life. Then he went back to washing my hair, until I was drifting in some sort of dozing euphoria, my mind quieting, my body loose and relaxed.
