My mouth moistened, my stomach clenched, holding my breath as he lifted his hand to cup my chin and leaned forward.
He was going to kiss me.
Beau Shaw, my asshole boss, was going to kiss me. And I already knew it was going to be the best kiss of my motherfucking life.
Just before our lips brushed, as I was leaning forward, readying for impact, Beau stopped.
His chest was rising and falling rapidly. The hand grasping my hip tightened. Like he was anchoring himself to this earth with it.
“Hannah.” His tongue slid across his front teeth. My body seized.
My name coming out of his mouth was no longer grating, unpleasant. In his rasped voice, it sounded like it was a prayer.
“Yes?” I whispered, my voice breathy, the word almost a moan.
His gaze searched my face. When it focused on my parted lips, his eyes flared. My stomach dipped at the pure hunger, the reverence, in his gaze.
“You need to go to bed. Now.” His tone told me this wasn’t up for discussion. He lingered for only a moment more before he stepped back. Purposefully.
My body sagged, my heart deflated, and my skin was suddenly ice-cold.
I looked up to see if Beau’s mask was back in place, if he was regarding me cruelly. But he wasn’t. His entire body was stiff, but his eyes were still alight with desire.
I wanted to step forward, take charge, own that kiss that I felt in my cells. I prepared myself to do that. There was no way my body could handle this buildup of tension without release. There was no way I could survive the next few seconds unless Beau’s mouth was on mine.
“Don’t.”
The single word gave me pause. It wasn’t an order. It was a plea.
I gazed at Beau, standing there like a statue but eyes burning with a fire that I hadn’t thought he was capable of.
“Not … tonight.” He shook his head. Again. It was another plea. He was fighting. With desire. Against those emotions he’d shared with me. His sorrow. His guilt for letting his daughter down. No, tonight was not a night to make the decision to make out with the nanny.
My heartbeat stuttered. Not tonight. But notnever.Was Beau Shaw insinuating that there would be a night when this kisswouldhappen?
Hope bloomed in my chest, even as I hated myself for it. I shouldn’t have been so readily forgiving and willing to kiss the man who had essentially made my life miserable for months. Shouldn’t have so quickly excused his behavior.
Hadn’t I learned?
My eyes roved over Beau’s form, my own body thrumming with a kind of substance that made me feel like I was rooted to the earth. The look he gave me made me feel as if I’d been incorporeal, transparent, invisible my whole life. Like I hadn’t been whole until Beau Shaw looked at me. The way he looked at me made me feel like a true woman, not a lost little girl.
“Okay,” I whispered. No, I hadn’t fully learned. “Good night, Beau.”
His eyes didn’t leave my mouth. “Good night, Hannah.”
With my heart thundering in my ears, I walked away from Beau Shaw, certain my life was about to change forever.
Maybe for the better.
But I should’ve known.
Good things didn’t happen to people like me.
five
HANNAH
After last night,Clara’s birthday provided the most perfect buffer that anyone could ask for.
