We chatted for a while, ate our pastries at a table with a view of Main Street, then went home.
When Beau left for work, his goodbye was long and not at all PG, cornering me in the kitchen while Clara was in the living room. His tongue had ravaged my mouth, his hand brutally cupping my breast as he pressed me against the fridge.
I hadn’t wanted to stop. I hadn’t trusted that I could stop. My awakened wanton alter ego was desperate for him to take me to the bathroom and lock us in there for a quick fuck. I almostsuggested it. I almost begged for it. Luckily, Beau was a stronger person than me.
“Wait up for me,” he demanded, taking my hand then cupping it to his hard cock in his jeans.
Feeling flushed and breathless, I stared at him. “Always,” I promised.
Beau took my hand away, lifting my palm to his lips where he laid a delicate kiss on the skin.
Then he went to work. As if nothing had changed.
Then Clara and I spent the evening together, like we always did. As if nothing had changed.
Except it had. The whole world had been tipped on its axis. The whole makeup of that household had been shaken up. But nothing felt unsteady, unsafe.
“I like Daddy being your boyfriend,” Clara decided, playing with my hair.
My heart bloomed as I smiled down at her. “It’s only been one day,” I reminded her. And myself.
“It’s been thebestday!” she retorted loudly.
“It has been,” I agreed without question.
“And Daddy seems so much happier,” she added, quieter now, wrapping my hair around her finger.
I tilted my head, considering her. “He does?”
It wasn’t a surprise that Clara noticed the emotional temperature in the house. Her father had never once shown her his pain, his anger, or any of the darker sides to him. For his daughter, he produced only sunshine.
But I could feel a difference in him, a lightness. Not a complete change, though. Beau would always have some storm clouds in him—just the way I liked him. But he smiled more, he spoke more.
I’d certainly felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was no longer tiptoeing around Beau, holding my breath for hisreaction, scared to put a foot wrong. Nor was I trying to stifle any kind of desire or maintain boundaries. This was us, in our natural state.
And that’s how it felt. Utterly effortless. Like we’d been doing it all along.
“He does.” Clara’s little fingers trailed the edges of my face, drawing lines over my features. “You do too,” she said sleepily. “Do you think you’ll be here forever?”
“I don’t know,” I said as she yawned. “But I certainly hope so.”
She settled into her pillows, her hand now enclosed in mine. “I hope so too.” She closed her eyes. “I’ll wish for it in my dreams.”
I kissed her head. “I’m already in mine.”
She smiled as she drifted off to sleep.
It was no longer a dance, waiting up for Beau. I didn’t have to act in any type of way, didn’t have to pretend.
We wereboyfriendandgirlfriend. He’d said as much. Although those terms felt so juvenile given what we were. Given what I felt about him.
However, it had been only one day, nerves fluttering in my stomach as the hour grew later.
We’d smashed every routine, dynamic and typical interaction we’d established the past few months and forged them anew.
As exciting and exhilarating as it felt, it also didn’t feel new. It felt … right. Natural, if a little jarring. Exactly as I’d told Clara—like I’d ventured into a dream I had designed.
Too good to be truecame to mind.
