‘It’s television,’ Simon replies. ‘And it’s an order, really, when you think about it. No contests, no show, no need for you to stay in your jobs.’
And when he puts it like that…
I sigh, defeated.
‘We’ll give you both backstories, true but careful, no one will know or care who you are,’ he says. ‘You’ll blend right in and then be gone before you know it. Just survive until reinforcements show up.’
‘Survive,’ I echo. ‘That’s not ominous at all.’
Lockie shifts closer, dropping his voice like he’s telling me a secret.
‘Come on, Cleo, it would be good to know what the contestants really go through,’ he says. ‘This is the only way. Besides, you don’t want to be the reason the whole show tanks before it even starts…’
Ugh, he’s right, I know he is, but this just sucks in so many ways.
‘Aaaaand,’ he adds, a grin tugging at his mouth as he holds on to the word for longer than usual, ‘at least you won’t be doing it alone. I’ll be there too. We’re in it together.’
I hate that a tiny part of me feels steadier for hearing that.
Simon, sensing the crack in my resolve, pounces.
‘Think of it as method research,’ Simon says. ‘And we’ll pay you, of course, same as we pay each contestant for each day they spend on the island. It’s more than usual this year, given that everyone is already known.’
‘We’re in,’ Lockie says. ‘Right, Cleo?’
‘…Right,’ I eventually add. It’s like my lips don’t want to give up the words. ‘But if I end up with some kind of slow-motion bikini malfunction going viral, you will all regret it. The edit better be kind.’
‘The edit is always kind,’ Simon replies – which is a total lie and he knows that I know it.
‘Don’t worry. You’ll steal the show,’ Lockie reassures me kindly.
My stomach flips, equal parts dread and another feeling I refuse to label right now.
‘Perfect. I’ll get wardrobe on it,’ Simon says. ‘And contracts. Then you’re contestants ofWelcome to Singledom 2026: Survival of the Fittest.’
Lockie looks thrilled, he really does, a bit of drama is his favourite thing, after all. Me? I like to make it, sure, but not be a part of it. I’m going to be the dullest contestant this show has ever seen, the public will boot me off so fast it will make my head spin. Here’s hoping Lockie feels the same once he’s on the island.
11
Working on the show for so long means I’ve eaten, slept and breathedWelcome to Singledom, season after season, to the point where I could give even the superstars a run for their money. In fact, if I ever end up onMastermind, I know exactly what my specialist subject is going to be. Well,Welcome to Singledomor the originalGossip Girlseries, I reckon I could clean up there too.
I’ve watched people arrive here year after year – nervous, tanned, teeth so white they could warn ships away from the rocks. I’ve seen megastars being made, people getting voted off the week they arrived – I’ve even seen contestants removed for unacceptable behaviour. The thing is though, everything I know, everything I’ve experienced, everything I’ve seen – it’s all been from behind the camera. My experience in front of the camera is non-existent and my desire to be there is even less.
Even if I had the confidence, I’m just not the show’s type on paper. I don’t look, sound or act the part.
‘All right, islanders! Let’s get you show-ready,’ Dan announces, smirking. ‘You’re about to live the dream! Let your face know.’
Dan works on the show and today his job is to prep me and Lockie, ASAP, for our island debut. What he’s failing to realise, however, is that one person’s dream is another person’s nightmare.
His enthusiasm makes me cringe, because he can’t be serious, he knows that I work on the show, that he can’t pump me up like he does the other contestants. The only plausible thing he could be right now is sarcastic, and I’ve got no time for it.
Lockie is taking it like a champ, probably just to make me look bad.
‘So, you know the drill,’ Dan begins. ‘The public loves a good first impression – big smiles, flirty banter, make it look natural, yeah? You’re contestants, so act like it.’
‘Got it,’ Lockie says – I swear, he’s excited about it.
‘You need to survive together,’ Dan continues. ‘Challenges, twists – you’ve got to back each other up, until the new arrivals turn up. You want the viewers to like you, to believe you have enough chemistry to put you together, but don’t be too memorable, or too hateable. We all know it’s the favourites and the least favourites who the public keep in the longest.’
