‘He’s great,’ Lockie says when it’s just the two of us. ‘He’s self-aware. He looks the part. He’s got his options wide open.’
‘He’s muscles and teeth and he’s going to make a play for the hottest girl – until a hotter girl comes in,’ I reply.
‘Which brings drama,’ he replies.
‘Which brings nothing new,’ I correct him. ‘Nothing worth watching.’
The next few blur together in a haze of the usual. A girl who called herself a ‘future entrepreneur’ but, when pressed on what that meant, couldn’t tell us, beyond saying she’s going to ‘get her bag’ when she wins. A man in a comedy suit who insisted he DJ’d in Ibiza but then admitted, under the mildest questioning, that he just made the playlist for his last lads’ holiday. And then there was the woman who burst into tears when we asked her what her greatest strength was, before insisting it was her ‘emotional strength’ while wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
Lockie puts a tick next to each of their names.
‘She’s messy. People love messy,’ he whispers after the crying woman leaves.
‘She’s vulnerable,’ I whisper back. ‘And this show will eat her alive.’
‘Exactly,’ he says – but then he catches himself. ‘Cleo, she said it herself, she’s emotionally strong.’
‘She sobbed it,’ I correct him.
‘And maybe this is what she needs to make her fantasy a reality,’ he replies.
‘My God, you’re the most delusional one here,’ I point out.
‘And you’re the grumpiest,’ he replies. ‘You’re the best example of what we’re not looking for.’
‘And you are?’
‘Someone recently said I was perfect…’ he teases.
Yeah, before I knew what a bellend he was. But I’ll keep that to myself for now.
I just roll my eyes.
Next up we have Damien, a twenty-six-year-old with awkward body language, hair covering his eyes (but I can still tell he’s struggling with eye contact), dirty trainers – not the usual type we get at all.
‘Hey, I’m Damien, I work in IT support for a bank,’ he tells us, his voice low and soft.
‘So why are you applying, Damien?’ Lockie asks.
‘My mates put me up to it,’ he replies with a shrug. ‘They sort of dared me so… yeah… here I am.’
I cock my head curiously.
‘So, why did you go through with it?’ I ask. ‘If your mates were telling you to do it, why did you listen to them?’
He just shrugs as he searches for the words he’s looking for.
‘Because I’m always overlooked,’ he says eventually. ‘No one ever sees me so… this is a way to get seen.’
Huh, that’s interesting. Usually people applying like being seen and want to have more eyes on them, but Damien just wants to be noticed for a change, even if it means taking himself out of his comfort zone. This wouldn’t be elevating for Damien, it would be life-changing. Character-building. A chance for him to find himself – not just get himself a job on Insta flogging supplements.
‘What do you think you would bring to the island?’ I ask.
‘And to the show?’ Lockie adds.
‘I think… honesty,’ Damien replies. ‘I don’t want to play games, I just want to be myself, see how it goes.’
‘We play a lot of games on the show,’ Lockie reminds him.
