“You really are always going to ask that,” she mumbled, attempting a laugh.
Adjusting his position in the chair, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “How do you feel?”
“I think… I drank something bad,” she croaked, her throat sore. “My mouth tastes of… charcoal.”
Henry looked anywhere but at her, as he nodded. “You were poisoned.”
“Poisoned?” She blinked at him in abject horror.
In a quiet, pained sort of voice, he told her what had happened: how he had figured out who was responsible, and had ridden back to Holdridge to find her unconscious, poisoned by Frances at James’ instruction. He told her of the physician’s visit, his voice growing thicker, as he shifted in the chair, clearly agitated.
“The concentrate was made of Pennyroyal,” he explained hoarsely. “It is a powerful plant. Very dangerous. If you had notexpelled some of what you drank, the physician thinks it might have been enough to kill you. But… it has the additional effect of… It can… The thing is, itcanmake a woman barren. We do not know for certain, but the physician was… not optimistic.”
She stared at him, confused as to why he would not look at her. Hurt, in truth. Who could deliver such awful news andnotembrace the person receiving it? What husband would not touch his wife in such a situation?
“Frances tried to kill me?” she said thickly, her heart cracking. “I… cannot have children?”
She did not know which one was more awful. Frances had been her dearest friend for years. They had shared everything together, behaving as sisters might. Before this, there was nothing that Thalia would not have trusted Frances with; the very last person she had thought would betray her so cruelly.
And she… did this?
Henry sniffed. “I do not believe Frances meant you physical harm, for she was the one who summoned Dr. Farnaby. I think James told her how much to put into the tea, hoping it would either kill you at best or make you barren at the very least. Either would have suited his intent.”
My wish.
She took a moment to focus on her breaths, crushed that she would likely never carry a child. Their child. Yet, as her hand rested on her stomach, knowing it might never swell with the gift of life, she found that the devastating news did not hit nearly as hard as Henry’s distant demeanor.
“And now you must find another wife?” she asked, for that was the only explanation she could think of.
His head twisted sharply, though he still did not meet her gaze. “What? No! Not at all. Never.”
“Then, why will you not look at me?” Her voice cracked.
And still, he did not come to her. “Because you should hate me, my love. It was my cousin who did this to you, and I was too foolish to stop it. I saw the pieces of it too late, and now… your wishes are both in tatters.”
My love?Those two words were an encouraging spark in the gloom.
“Why should I hate you?” she asked.
He clawed a hand through his dark hair. “I ruined everything. When you asked if I meant to stay with you, I said nothing, when all I wanted to do was take you in my arms and tell you that I would never leave again. And then, when I thought I might lose you… I love you, Thalia, but I feel as if I have no right to stay beside you now, not when my family has hurt you so.”
Thalia’s heart took that moment to stop pounding so hard, as it decided to leap instead. He loved her. She might have been dazed, but she knew she had not misheard him.
Slowly, a smile crept onto her lips. “Say that again.”
“I am guilty by association,” he replied, shaking his head. “I do not deserve to be at your side.”
She shook her head. “Look at me.”
Frowning as if in pain, he finally looked at her.
“Now, say that again. The part before you said you had no right to stay beside me,” she urged, her heart dancing a merry jig, butterflies fluttering in her sore stomach.
He inhaled deeply. “I love you, but I?—”
“Ah, no,” she interrupted, wagging a finger. “You cannot say ‘I love you’ if there is a ‘but’ after it. There are a few exceptions like, ‘I love you, but you are standing on my foot’ but that is all.”
His eyes grew misty. “What about, I love you, but I cannot grant you a child anymore, and I do not know if you will resent me later for that?”
